


Soft Bun / Markhyuck

by seagul_brows



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Language, M/M, Murder, Rape, Sexual Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 36
Words: 35,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25609627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seagul_brows/pseuds/seagul_brows
Summary: Lee Minhyung, a 24-year-old orphan has to work for a conman in order to gain freedom & explore the world that is out of his reach. But the consequences are a lot higher than they seem at first, as he has to kidnap the son of a north resident.Will he be able to do it?What will he do if the boy falls in love with him?
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi before reading the story, I just wanted to make something clear on my part. Firstly, English is not my first language, so if you see any mistakes or grammatical errors, as much as I try to fix them while editing, some I can't. 
> 
> Second, I am moving my story here from Wattpad due to some issues, I will take time to update and anything at all, if you're too impatient, go read the story there, as I have managed to write up to thirty chapters on it. My @ there is (dandelion-wine)
> 
> Thirdly, there are some issues regarding the bolding of text and all which doesn't show up on this website for some reason, if anyone knows about it lemme know in the comments please, if not, fingers crossed hoping the story doesn't seem confusing because of it. 
> 
> Last, but not least, plagiarism, NOT TRY TO COPY MY WORK. IN ANY WAY IT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. IF YOU THINK EVEN FOR A SECOND "I CAN DO IT AND CHANGE IT A BIT, IT Won't BE COPYING RIGHT?" THAT WILL STILL BE PLAGIARISM!!!!
> 
> We all work hard on our writing and for someone to just show up and copy it, is a big no, no.

The rain didn't stop in the morning.

Mud on the road and ceilings leaking. The weather was said to be bad for the whole week.

The sound of rain with a cup of coffee, your favorite book sitting in the window without any care of the outside world. That was how he was at the very moment.

The thing was that he had no idea how to read so he just stared at the words. Wondering what they meant. If only he knew.

Taking in a deep breath as he bookmarked the page and closed the book.

He was in the attic.

The attic of a small house his aunt owned.

The outside was surprisingly better than the inside. With all the rubbish his aunt has gathered. They were pocket pickers. Stealing whatever they could get their hands on. The said was brought into the world because of his aunt.

When his parents were murdered she was the only one who he knew at that time.

He knew all the tips and tricks for what his aunt had taught him.

But secretly he had big plans.

He wanted to explore. Go outside. Somewhere. Anywhere. He was going to be 24 soon so he wanted to make the most of his life.

He was just tired of doing the dirty work for these so-called humans.

He couldn't possibly work in an office. He had no idea how to read or write. Even though his young age was spent with his parents they never had the chance to bring the kid towards that path.

As he climbed off the stairs the sound of his aunt scolding her two sons echoed. They never listened to what she used to tell them what to do.

Her daughter off to get laid every now and then.

They were freaking disgusting.

He walked between them towards a couch in the corner of the room and slumped down on it. Watching the three of them scream at each other for god knows how long.

Gosh how much he wished to have his life changed. He groaned under his breath.

Everyone stopped moving when there was a knock on the door.

Whoever it was they were pretty damn desperate to get inside. I mean it was raining after all.

Minhyung sat up straight as he heard footsteps aside from his aunt who opened the door and came back inside with a worried expression.

It was some guy.

Maybe in his...40s.

He eyed him up and down from the corner. No one got up to greet him. Apparently he wasn't someone one would even want to.

Long story short: a con man.

That's exactly what he was. And they all knew it pretty damn well too.

The guy took off his hat and looked around the place smiling than glancing at the faces present in the room.

'Are these two of your sons?' He turned to the aunt. Who nodded her head in agreement as she stood in the doorway.

'Get out.' The guy said, his voice cold all of a sudden. The two left the room in seconds making him sit down in their place.

'I'd take a cup of tea, please. Oh and...two sugar cubes yes thank you!' He was weird.

That's all how I could describe him.

For some reason, the first thing my gut told me was that he was getting an excuse to get rid of my aunt. And the second...he came here for business purposes...specifically for....me.

My aunt eyed me one last time and left the two of us alone in the room.

The guy continued after he heard the door close.

'You must be....'

'Minhyung.'

'...of course. Minhyung.'

He smiled. His yellowish teeth were visible. I felt like throwing up. The hell does he want from me?

'I'll get straight to the point kid..' He never looked at me while saying that but either way, I focused on how his featured changed as he talked. The wrinkles on his face were a lot for someone who was in their forties.

I kept quiet.

'...I got a pretty great offer but I want you to keep it to yourself.' He shifted his gaze towards me. Eyes locked with mine now. Maybe it was something important.

'I'll also pay you for it in a good amount. What do you say huh?'

I leaned back a bit. 'Depends on what the offer is. But even still I'm gonna need time to think about it.' I kept it short.

'Ten million dollars.'

My eyes widened at the amount he mentioned. The guy noticed too as his smile grew knowing that it got to me. It wasn't that I was interested in money.

Which I totally was.

It was just that the time we were living in, that amount was fucking huge. And if the offer was boring in the end I'll just get it done somehow and get my hands on that money however I can as it might be my only chance to get out of this place.

'I'm listening...what's the offer?' I moved forward. As I intertwined my fingers and placing my hand under my chin resting it there as I continued to hear what he further had to say.

'I want you to help me get close to someone. Someone very very important. You see my daughter wants to marry this young guy from the north side and apparently he's some 'important' person's son and things are getting out of hands at home. All you have to do is somehow provoke him to get close to me and trust me and I'll take care of the rest.'

It felt wrong.

But who the hell cares about it. I want the freaking money.

'What's the real purpose of the plan?' He held himself for a second. Thinking of telling me or not...at least that's what it looked like from his face.

'He's rich.'

The room was filled with my laugh. This guy is even more pathetic than me. And here I thought that I was the only one who was this desperate to get money in the end. He was looking at me with his brows furrowed.

'Do we have a deal or not?'

'How do I get close to him? You said he's rich right? How rich?'

'The 1 half of the north is owned by his father.'

'I'm impressed. Keep going.'

'For further information I want you to tell me first if we have a deal or not?'

'Why would I agree to it first before knowing the whole thing?'

'You have to.'

'I don't see it stamped anywhere.' I looked around the room as if trying to look for it.

The guy clenched his jaw. I knew he was desperate. The fact that we had this long of the conversation already and he hasn't gotten up and left said it all.

'The kids not 'mentally' well. He needs a personal caretaker 24/7. The one he already has will be fired by the end of this week. I have already sent someone there to get the job done. So you will take that place instead. That way It'll be a lot easier to get close to him.'

'You do what his schedule says every day. His father is already looking for someone to get him married with...he wants to get rid of him. I'll visit the place as his language teacher. His father wants the boy to learn Japanese.'

'He's Japanese?'

'His grandfather was. I didn't go that far. You have barely a month to do what you are told to do. When his father sees that our family is 'right' enough he would want to arrange the marriage as soon as possible. We can not let that happen. Before that there's a train that leaves to Korea at the end of every month for supply shipping. We sneak intake the kid there. Get him married. I get the documents he holds under his name and we leave him in some insane asylum. They wouldn't even question why we want to leave him there.'

'In the end...you get your money and I get what I want. Everyone lives happily ever after.'

He clapped his hands.

I kept quiet. It was honestly a lot to take in. I was basically being offered a price to ruin someone's life. Someone I don't even know.

Without realizing I started picking at the couch.

Lost in thoughts until the door opened forcefully...

'I'll do it!!!' It was Aunties daughter. Hana. That fucking bitch.

'No, no no no... I'm sorry It's a job I only want Minhyung to do.'

'Minhyung?' The guy looked at me waiting for my answer. 

'I'll do it.'


	2. Chapter 2

For some reason I was nervous.

The man that came over yesterday told me to get my luggage ready by early noon today. Not to put anything other than clothes and shoes. And just a few things I might need.

The sun had made its way to the final paths of its way to set.

The thought that I have had of going away from this small prison cell since I was a little boy after my parents died now being fulfilled was beyond any way for me to explain in words.

Finally, I could breathe.

Not having the urge to run away from here every time I stepped a foot inside this place anymore.

I took a deep breath and glanced at the wristwatch I was wearing. Was he even planning to show up? Or was I just been played into the lust of money being mentioned? It wasn't the fact that I couldn't run away, which I easily could, these fools won't even have any idea if I take something with me. It was just that I wouldn't have anywhere to go and most importantly no money was handed to me.

Like what I always stole was taken out of my hands the instance I stepped inside the house so money was far out of reach. It was never even enough to last a full day in the first place.

There was no option of saving, these things knew every corner of the house like the back of their hands. I wasn't even given a proper bed to sleep on. It was just the couch that was the comfiest if not anything else but most of the time uncle sat there and just drank the whole night and in the end pass out.

I would have no choice in the end to just sleep on the floor in the kitchen. Which of course didn't end well in the morning if most of the time my aunt woke up before me.

It had been more than three hours since he told me to wait as he'll pick me up at a certain time. To say that I was not losing hope of him coming would be a lie. I was so excited to leave this place that I never thought about this happening once last night when I was gathering my things.

I always kept my things close to me even though I was never given the place to keep them. Some days I surprised myself as to how they are still in good shape.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car engine.

Thank god.

The car stopped a few feet away from me. The door of my left side opened revealing the same guy from yesterday. He looked...different. Maybe a bit more decent? I never paid attention to his looks furthermore as he approached me.

'Forgive me. The ride here was long and the car broke down in the middle so I had to wait in the middle of nowhere to wait for another form of transportation.'

I never bothered questioning him about it. If he was lying who cares, at least he's here for now. I just need to get out of here as soon as possible. The taunts coming from inside the house for the past three hours were already getting on my nerves. I just smiled at the wrinkled man in front of me and nodded my head as I grasp to hold on my luggage handle and carried it to the car door. Carefully placing it inside and reaching to the right side of the seat.

I sat back relaxed. Sinking in the soft surface underneath my buttocks.

The guy followed me soon after and closed the door behind himself as he took a seat next to me. Giving the driver the instructions, we drove off.

I never looked back after that.

Not even once.

Not even a glance of that unholy place.

We had a long road ahead of us. So I decided to just look outside and enjoy the best of what I haven't been able to set my eyes upon since like forever.

The trees passing by like every person in one's life. They are there for one time, after that they just leave. Some may affect our lives, others are just a little glimpse of what one should never even be bothered about.

I took a heavy breathe as my head was now placed over my arm in the open window.

The change that I was about to face honestly I was scared of it.

Who knows what might come after me?

Would it have any effect on me?

If it would, would it be in a good way or a bad?

The people I meet will they even accept me?

Does this man even know what he is doing? Or was it just a work that might end up ruining more lives than it is supposed to?

I never realized when I drifted off to dreamland. 

I jolted awake when the car passed over a bumpy area.

Straightening myself as I wiped the drool that somehow made its way out of my mouth. Sleeping in the window might not have been a very good idea as I saw myself in the front mirror. My hair was a mess.

Not knowing for how long we have been driving for...I glanced over to my right. The guy was smoking a cigar now as the book that he was reading previously sat beside him on the seat. Between the both of us.

'How much longer?'

I asked as I diverted my gaze outside setting my eyes upon the darkness that had taken upon the once lit sky. Millions of stars were visible from the small window of the car. My stomach growled. Placing my hand over it, I turned towards his direction again hoping he didn't hear it. It was loud and heard. The man looked at me with a brow raised. The cigar he was inhaling before to enjoy the useless meaning behind it now forgotten.

Before one word was exchanged between us-

The car slowed down and came to a halt. With a huge door in front.

'We have arrived.'


	3. Chapter 3

'Don't leave me!'

Sighing for the millionth time Taeil went closer to the boy who was sulking on his bed wrapped up in his sheets.

'Look....even if I'm going it must be best for everyone. But I will miss you of course.'

Haechan not being satisfied by the answer started ruffling in the sheets. His whines getting louder every minute.

'After all, I'm sure the newly hired maid would be a lot friendly than I am.' Taeil tried to reason with the boy who has been following him around every corner of the house since he heard that he had to leave. Of course, the older couldn't tell him that he was forced to leave the place since his family lives were at stake. It's not like the boy would understand in the first place.

'But I don't want any other maid!' He whined louder and louder each time. 'I want you to stay!'

'I don't care if the maid nice. I want my Taeil hyung!' He never used proper sentences when one was not listening to him.

'Your Taeil hyung huh?' He smiled under his breath. He knew the boy was just trying to get to him. He knew him since he was a fetus.

He cupped his face looking straight in his eyes that were already filled with crocodile tears.

'If you whine more and not listen to what I say I'll just leave without saying goodbye...so be nice while I'm still here okay?' His voice got soft at the end when the tears finally left the eyes and down his squishy cheeks.

His chin trembling as the older raised his voice at him.

'Now stop being a cry baby.' Turning around he went back to packing his things.

'Haechan not cry baby! Haechan is a big boy!' He hated it when someone called him a baby. He pouted in the end as he whipped the tears with the sleeves of his sweater trying to look strong but ended up looking like a soft bun.

'Good if you're not-'

'Haechan will hate the maid! No nice manners! He will tell him to go back!'

'Can Haechan please stop referring to himself as a third person?' Taeil facepalmed. This is going to be a long long night.

'What's a third person?' He tilted his head not understanding what the boy meant due to his lack of brain cells.

Before Taeil could say anything else he felt a pair of arms around his waist and a head on his back.

'Warm.' The boy said but it ended up sounding muffled as his face was buried in his back.

'Haechan...You know I'll miss you a lot. It's gonna be hard but we all have to leave one day right?' He smiled as the boy started rocking back and forth. Putting his hand on the youngers and holding them tight. 'I'll miss my little boy so so much. Don't be mad at me for calling you little, please...Be a good boy and show the other maid all the good things I taught you huh? I'll write to you every weekend. You better not forget to write back or I won't let you call me hyung!'

'Haechan doesn't want you to leave.'

'I know. Let's go now...I have to leave.'

'But-'

'No buts mister!'

'Take me with you!' Taeil laughed out loud making the boy furrow his brows at him wondering if he said something funny.

'If I do that they'll hurt hyung a lot you know.'

'But hurting others is bad!'

'Yes, it is. And since Haechan is being a bad boy right now and not listening to hyung, hyung is getting hurt.'

'I'm sorry.' He moved his head down as Taeil turned to him. Kissing the top of his head and ruffling his curls.

'Come on now...Won't you walk hyung out? I also have a little present for you.'

The boy looked up so fast with shiny eyes holding his hand as he stared at him with a big smile on his face. 'Present?'

Nodding his head they both made their way out. 

Standing at the porch of the huge house, Haechan was still holding the olders hand tight having no intention of letting it go.

'Haechan..'

The boy turned to the older.

'...the kitchen. I made lots of soft buns you like.'

'Really?' The boy jumped in excitement.

'Why don't you go get them huh?' This was the only way to let the boy go. Taeil knew he would never let him leave just like that if he wanted to. He had to make an excuse.

'Let's go get them together hyung!' The boy moved to run inside but was held back by the older.

'Why don't you go get them..I'll- I'll wait here hm?'

Haechan looked at him with curiosity. He gasped cutely and cupped the older face standing on his toes (Taeil's taller than him) when he saw tears coming out of his eyes. Wiping them with his sweater.

'Why is hyung crying? Is hyung tired from work?'

'Yes. Very tired.'

'Does Haechan make hyung work a lot? Haechan is sorry. If Haechan becomes a big boy and wears his clothes and eats his food will hyung stay?'

Taeil grabbed the boys' nape and pulled him towards him kissing his forehead.

'Why don't you go get the buns..someone else might eat them you know.'

'Haechan bring them. Hyung stay.'

Taeil just smiled.

'Haechan!' Taeil called out to the boy who was a bit further away.

'Take care of yourself!'

Haechan giggled and ran to the kitchen finding his Hyung silly as to why would he need to take care of himself when he will be there to do it better.

When the boy was out of Taeil's sight he stood there for a good few minutes. The house was pretty damn big so it was going to take Haechan a bit longer to get to the kitchen and come back meaning enough time for the older to leave the house without hearing his loud cries.

With that said, he turned around and made his way out the gate.


	4. Chapter 4

The place was luxurious.

Since the area where the house was situated didn't have many people, and the ones who lived there barely had their walls standing or food in there plates, so it was more than enough to be impressed about.

Minhyung heard about the house is big but he had no idea it would be this much.

Getting out of the car outside the gates which were opened by some workers, they were welcomed and escorted by them inside the house as well. Both the workers at the front, the con-man, and Minhyung at the end with his luggage in his hands.

He was paying attention to almost every room they passed by.

The windows that showed a garden outside even though it was dark, it was still barely visible 'cause of the moonlight.

They passed by what seemed to be was a kitchen considering all the cooking essentials placed.

A further minute walk and they halted in front of a big door. Sliding it open to both sides Minhyung followed the people in front of him.

The place was beautifully decorated.

Carpets, chandeliers, the sofas. Everything was new to the young man. His eyes sparkled in watching all the glory in front of his eyes.

He had spent all his life in such misery that he never once thought that such things even existed.

'Please make yourself comfortable. Master would be with you in a few.' One of the two boys bowed as the other stood outside by the door and left.

Placing his luggage by the sofa, Minhyung walked around the room his hand touching every detail of the paintings and decorations hung on the walls.

'Don't get too attached to all this my boy, the people here can be....strange.' He sat there with one of his arms on the backside while the other was busy holding the newly lit cigar. It was as if he owned the place.

'You never informed me--' He continued walking as he talked further '--about your name.'

The man took longer to reply than he should have. As if watching his every move or as if... thinking what to give as a name.

'That would be Mr. Kim for you.'

For me huh?

Minhyung never replied or asked anything further. A part of him told him that everything that came out of that man's mouth was nothing but pure lies. It disgusted him to a point that he didn't want to look at that man's face.

He was afraid.

But he couldn't exactly explain what he was afraid of, that man? the change?

The door opened with a man walking inside. He looked.....wealthy and...Show off?

The clothes he was wearing looked as if made for royalty. But his face didn't match with it. The worker that talked with them before was right behind him. His head bowed down, eyes glued on his shoes.

Minhyung furrowed his brows as he looked closely at the red handprint on his left cheek and directed his gaze to the man in front of him. He was looking at him.

His face had no emotions.

It felt as if he was looking through his soul.

'You're the new worker?'

For some reason, Minhyung didn't have the guts to speak with words so he nodded his head but his gaze never left the man.

'You got a tongue?'

He had no manners. That's the only thing that Minhyung could notice first about him.

'Of course.'

He went to take a seat...Minhyung saw how tense Mr. Kim looked around the man. He clearly had power over him. Say just in case of money still it worked. He was standing from the place he once sat proudly and made way for the man who came inside the room.

'Sit boy.'

He talked as if talking with a dog. But Minhyung couldn't screw this up so he complied. Walking past the worker that still stood where he was and took a seat opposite the man. Mr. Kim sat to the left.

'Your name?'

'Minhyung.' He didn't bother saying his full name. There was no point in doing so. The air in the room got suffocating all of a sudden.

'I am Katsu. Your master. You must do what I say when I say and where I say. Even though you are to serve my son who knows nothing; know your place always. Now leave this place I must talk alone with this man.'

Minhyung didn't say anything. Looking at Mr. Kim who nodded his head, he got up and walked out of the room. The worker that once stood in the door moved one step back and closed the door.

'Would you like something to eat sir?' the worker asked.

'I'll get to the kitchen myself.' Minhyung started to walk where they came from as he saw the kitchen on the way here. He stopped all of a sudden making someone bump into him from the back. Turning around he 'tsk'-ed.

The boy instantly got on his knees, his head bowed down as he clasped his hands together rubbing them. 'Please forgive sir! It won't happen again! I wasn't looking at where I was going...please.'

The sight made his heartache. How can something like this make him get on his knees so fast?

'Get up.'

And the boy didn't take another second to obey.

'What's your name?'

'Jaemin, sir!'

'How long have you been here?'

'I was born here.' His voice was soft. As if tired of speaking.

'You were? Where? Ah...How old are you?'

'In the cottage sir, where the servants are supposed to be and I'm 19, sir!' He never looked at Minhyung not even once.

'You're younger. Look at me when you're talking to me and stop calling me sir.'

The boy looked up slowly. Minhyung smiled when he got a good look at his face but it soon disappeared when he saw how weak he was. It was as if he had never eaten and the bruises made things even worse. Moving his hand up to touch the wound the boy moved backed.

'Please! You must not do this! The master would kill me if he sees it!'

'Okay okay...I won't!'

Minhyung sighed loud. What was he getting himself into?

'Let-let's just going to the kitchen. I'm hungry all of a sudden and I smell something really good.' 

//// 

The kitchen was much larger than what Minhyung imagined it to be when he first got a glimpse of it. His mouth was left open as he was looking around. But there was one thing that caught his eye, the plate on the shelf near the stove. It was filled with buns and they looked as if they were made not long ago considering they were still hot when Minhyung put one in his mouth.

He barely took three bites and he was done with it. It was so good. And too soft.

'God this is good! Who made these?' Minhyung questioned Jaemin who was busy looking for something to eat while Minhyung was stuffing his face with something he was most definitely not supposed to eat.

He was on his sixth one making only four being left behind when Jaemin almost screamed watching the boy. The boy stopped as he looked at him.

'You were not supposed to eat those!'

'What? why?' 

'Hey, you!'

And there it was. Jaemin closed his eyes praying not to get into trouble. So the only thing he did was run out of the kitchen as soon as he heard the voice.

Minhyung turned towards the door where the boy ran off to and watched the person that stood in the doorway with puffed cheeks, clenched fists, and glossy eyes. Not to mention he was tiny. The taller looked around as if finding who he called out to. 'Me?'

The tiny one stomped his way into the kitchen and near him. Looking down at him now, he looked as if he would cry any second.

'You give that back!'

'What?'

'That!' Pointing to the half-bun that was in the olders hand. 'Mine!'

'It's not yours.'

'It is!'

'No, it's not.'

'It is!'

'Nope.'

While having a talk with the tall guy Haechan looked at the plate behind him that was almost empty. Looking back at him.

'You ate all of them...' Andddddd the first tear rolled down his cheek. Making minhyung panic. 'Wait wait here....you- you can have them all...I- I only ate a few I promise!'

And the crying got louder as he fell on the floor.

'Hyung made them for Haechan!'

Oh gosh.

Minhyung got down to his level..' Please don't cry--'

Grabbing the plate from the counter and moving it in front of the boy who was busy crying a river on the floor.

'See...um...there's still so many..'

The boy calmed down instantly. Cool minhyung it's working!

'Look...one, for now, one for in the morning, then in the evening and then one for the night and this one for...'

'For?'

'For....' Minhyung chuckled nervously as he couldn't come up with something. Seeing the taller not answer Haechan's chin started to tremble again.

'No no no no....look and one for if...if you stop crying and- ahh..and tell me your name huh?'

'So then Haechan will get two now?'

So you're Haechan huh? MInhyung smiled at the boys' innocence.

Of course, he knew who he was in the first place. After all, they were here specifically for the boy. Minhyung was told whatever Mr. Kim had known about the boy. Including how close he was to his previous maid. He had already seen what the boy even looked like.

'Yes! You will get two. This one!' He showed him the one in his hand. 'And....this one!' Taking the other out of the plate and waving them in the air.

'Give me.' Haechan moved his hand for Minhyung to give him the buns.

'No...but you didn't wipe your tears.'

'Haechan doesn't know how to.'

Minhyung pulled the collar of his sweater up covering his face and wiped the tears.

'See...all done!'

Haechan giggled. 'I'm Haechan. I'm a big boy now!' The younger on the floor waved his sweater paws in the air as he tried to tell how tall he was.

'That's very good. Now here you go. Will Haechan tell me how old he is?'

The boy had his face stuffed in the half-bun Minhyung gave him. So he barely understood what he said.

'I'm 18. Who are you mister?'

'I'm Minhyung. I'll take care of you from now on.' Minhyung cleaned the corner of the boy's lip with his thumb as he was busy eating.

And I really need to gain your trust.


	5. Chapter 5

A part of me. Just a little bit was actually excited to meet all these new people living under this roof.

Mr. Kim was about to leave. This Katsu guy was already getting on my nerves for some reason.

'Ah yes. Then I'll see you some other time, it's already getting quite late.' Mr. Kim stood by the door of the room where he and Mr. Katsu had a little chat in. Katsu went ahead and left not caring about his little guest. Kim walked towards me as I stood confused after getting a weird expression from 'my master'.

Every bit of me was trying its best to hold back cause I seriously wanted to punch his face once.

Leaning closer to me as he spoke, I wish he didn't cause his breath wasn't helping in having me breathe properly.

'Make sure you don't blow your cover.'

Straightening his suit that looked a century old with a disgusting colored tie, he cleared his throat.

'I see you've already met the boy huh.' He leaned to the side a bit looking behind me to the person that had a fist full of my shirt held tightly as if never wanting to let go of it. I just nodded. He placed his hand over my shoulder as he walked passed me with a smile on his face trying his best to make eye contact with the boy. Haechan just hid more behind me.

When he was a good few feet away, I decided to see him off, or exploring the place on my way back was more of my excuse. The kid never let go. It was as if he suddenly decided to latch on to me. But I never bothered paying too much attention to him yet. I'll deal with him when this retard that's walking in front of me goes away.

Haechan and I stood on the porch, well he never let me go further when I was about to go down the two steps and bid Kim goodbye. It wasn't that I was starting to like that guy, just trying to give the man a proper see off since Katsu never did his part.

The boy just pulled me back. And he never went down the steps either. Arguing him about this matter, no thank you.

The house was huge I just wanted to state it again. Cause the gate was pretty damn far away from the porch on which we stood on at the moment.

The night sky was suddenly covered with clouds that came as unwelcomed guests. It wasn't long before when I could admire the stars and the full moon. I took a deep breath and exhaled it. I'll admit that I forgot the kid was still there when I was about to go inside and felt a tug on the backside.

Turning around towards him, he looked up to me with shiny and.... hopeful? eyes.

I parted my lips and ran my tongue over them as I felt them dried. Haechan kept his gaze on me at all times we stood there. Studying me? I wonder what he was thinking? I furrowed my brows expecting him to say something moving my hands into my pants pocket...

I sneezed.

Damn it Minhyung.

The boy closed his eyes tight instantly as the saliva from my mouth showered on his face. I apologized and started cleaning his face pulling my sleeve as my other handheld him in one place from his nape.

Moving down towards his cheeks, he peeked through his eyelids. He had pretty lips that curled into a small smile when I stared at them for too long and stopped doing what I was supposed to be doing. I don't know why but I ran my fingers on his cheeks, to his jaw, and down his neck staring at it all the way down. When I looked back up, the boy's eyes locked with mine. His hand had made his way onto my arm which I kept on his nape. His curls suited him.

The boy giggled.

And for reasons un-fucking-known my heart skipped a beat.

'Minhyung hyung is silly.'

His voice brought me back to my senses, making me realize what I was doing and... even what the fuck was I thinking.

Moving a step or two away as I looked everywhere but him while I scratched my nape awkwardly. 'We should go inside.' And I never waited for him, walking fast not even knowing where I was even supposed to go. I heard footsteps behind me that turned into fast running as I increased my speed and went straight to the kitchen as that was the only place I knew for now.

Haechan's laugh filled the place thinking as if I was playing with him. Not paying attention to the front I bumped into someone making them fall backward. My instinct worked faster as I grabbed their waist and pulled towards me. His hands-on my chest, mine around his waist with a firm grip.

It was Jaemin.

The boy pushed me so hard making everything he was holding fall to the wooden floor. He never looked at me. Eyes on his feet informing me about what he was told.

'You must prepare the young master for bed.'

'Oh- Right. Of course.'

'I'll take you to his room then and yours as well.' He bowed. Why?

He ran away. 'W-wait- gosh.' I picked all the blankets off the floor.

'Come on Haechan bedtime.' The kid happily skipped his steps and held the fabric of my upper arm with one hand. When I looked to his grip and back into his eyes he only smiled while tilting his head a bit.

In the end, we had to catch up to Jaemin. He showed me Haechan's room. It was even bigger than the one in which Kim and I sat in not long ago. Mine was at the end of the same corridor where his room was but definitely not even a bit of the same situation.

This is going to be hard to get used to.

I tightened my grip on the door handle as I eyed the spider busy making it's home in the corner of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

I tried.

But for some reason every time I thought about not thinking about something, there I was doing it again.

Shifting to my side for the millionth time, eyeing the ceiling. It was suffocating me. The luggage under my head wasn't helping either. In the end, I ended up outside. Walking in the long hallways of the house. I signed heavily as the only place I ended up was the kitchen. I seriously need to get to know this place and fast. Never really stepping inside the place I walked back to my room. Passing Haechan's room on the way. For some reason, my feet stopped in front of it.

I wonder if the kids asleep?

But then why in the world would he be awake in the middle of the night. Curiosity got over my senses as I peeked inside the room between through the doors. I could barely get a glimpse of the bed. Nothing much.

Sticking my forehead to the door with eyes closed. Oh how much I missed that fucking couch... I was pathetic.

That night I ended up sleeping outside his door. It was a lot better than sleep in that little cell. It was cold. The floor under me creaked every time I tried to move. Why am I disturbing others if I can't fucking sleep? Trying to keep me from making any kind of noise the rest of the time I ended up falling asleep without realizing it.

\-----

I was woken up by the sound of something falling. At first, I didn't realize where I was but after sitting up straight and having direct eye contact with Jaemin, the scenes from last night came to mind and that's when I remembered I slept out on the floor. Not that I was going to sleep on a bed in my room but still.

The boy just stood there, eyes wide open. He looked completely shocked for some reason. A clipboard with some papers laid down by his feet on the floor. I figured the sound came from it falling. But why was he so shocked.

Since the house was mostly surrounded by trees that looked more like a forest to me and providing shade to the house most of the time, the house was a lot colder. I turned to my right when I felt something warm hit my neck. I had never been this close in having a heart attack. Sliding back in a swift move I almost screamed my lungs out but soon realized it was just the brat.

The door was opened and he was sitting on all fours staring at me when I got scared the boy started laughing. It must have been really fun for him since he fell back on the floor clenching his stomach. I shook my head signing heavily looking down. Blanket?

I don't remember bringing one. Looking towards Jaemin. he was holding some blankets yesterday maybe he...

When I turned my attention to the boy in front, he now laid on his stomach palm under his chin and stared at me happily. A smile crawled its way on my lips which I did not expect to happen. Realizing what I was doing I cleared my throat standing up and closed his door. Good thing he wasn't laying in the doorway or that wouldn't have ended very well.

Firstly because that brat whines a lot, that much I had already figured out. And second, my first official day began and I would've already been killed by his manner-less-thing of a father. Whom I did not like at all. Holding the door shut for a minute to make sure he doesn't open again which he didn't, surprisingly. I shifted my attention to the boy that still stood quietly at the start of the hallway. He seemed like a good person to get close to.

I smiled at him as a greeting and he looked down on the ground. I think understanding him would be a lot harder of a thing to do then that brat.

Walking close to him as he stood a few feet away from me, the boy took a step back instantly. I stopped myself rather just picked up the board and handed it to him earning a bow in return. I nodded my head as my gaze traveled to the bruises on his arms. He didn't even bother to hide them.

'Everything you need to help the young master with,' he handed the board back to me. Taking it in my hands as I turned the page over revealing another one underneath. I bit my lower lip out of nervousness. I don't fucking know what it says.

Should I ask? Would he knowing I can't read would be fine? I felt a lump in my throat which I swallowed hard. What do I do? What do I say?

'You.. you don't know how to read do you?' he knocked on the wooden clipboard in my hands as he spoke. I looked up at him.

So he's not stupid I see...


	7. Chapter 7

'You don't know how to read, do you?' 

The branches of the trees were dancing as it could be seen through the windows of the hallway in which we stood as of now. The atmosphere got tense as I stared back into a pair of eyes that did the same yet filled with curiosity. My heart sped up slowly. For a second I thought he could hear it beating as well as he moved his hand back resting it on his hip. I swallowed hard.

Maybe I should tell him. It's not like he can do anything right? But then what if he tells Katsu? Would he even care? Dang it what do I fucking do?

I moved the clipboard in my hands, letting it hang by my hip. The boy followed my move and looked back in my eyes again.

Maybe I should just kill him.

Handing him the board back which he took with a trembling hand. I think we both figured out the result of the situation by now. The boy tried to move back but I was faster. I grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against the wall covering his mouth with my other hand. The board fell by my feet. His hands gripped my wrists hard trying to remove it but I was an advantage. Eyes filling with tears, muffled sounds came out of his mouth as I choked him by the neck.

I need to be careful. Someone might see us here so I became cautious and dragged him to the room at the end; my room. The boy tried his best to fight as he pushed my face away with his hands. Closing the door behind me as I stepped inside and pinned him against the door this time.

'Speak a word and I'll choke you to death,'

I slowly removed my fingers around his neck, the boy fell down instantly. Sobbing and rubbing his hands together to ask for forgiveness. But for what?

Crouching down to his level 'Don't tell anyone about this, got it?' He nodded violently. 'Wipe your tears and shut up!' Pulling his dirty sweater up, he wiped his face. 'Tell me what it says by evening and get the fuck out of here,'

'y-yes.' he bowed, stood up, and ran outside slamming the door shut.

/////

Jaemin froze in his place when he bummed into someone after taking a turn when he ran out of the room. To say he was scared of being killed before was less. He wished that guy had actually killed him there, at least he wouldn't have to deal with what was standing in front of him right now.

The said person turned around. His expensive and beautiful clothing swaying in the air as he moved. The smile he had on his face that made his eyes turn into half-moon fell into a frown as he watched the boy. Eyes swelled as if he cried not long ago. Which he had. Sweater wet in places that gave proof that he actually did. And not to mention the fact that he was shaking in fear.

He dragged the boy all the way to the other side of the house into a room. Jaemin stood by the door as he locked the door and walked past him sitting on the edge of his bed.

'Explain yourself,'

Silence.

Moving forward as he placed his hands on his knees and intervening his fingers. He eyed the boy from head to toe. Head bowed and eyes on his feet. He signed loudly. Taking his layers of clothing off leaving a sleeveless white thin top he leaned back on his hands.

'Why were you crying?'

'I wasn't,' he mumbled.

'What did they do to you?' his voice was soft as he continued to investigate the servant.

'Why do you wanna know?' looked up this time.

No reply came out of his mouth as he watched the boy carefully.

'Answer the question,'

'No!' he informed loudly this time.

'Come here,' he commanded and stood up himself as well. Jaemin walked towards him slowly and stopped a foot away. He gripped his chin and moved his face up looking him in the eyes this time watching closely.

'what is it sire?' his voice was only loud enough for the two to hear this time.

'What did I say about calling me huh?' whispered.

'I can't-'

'What.did.I.say?'

He took a second to answer as he parted his lips. 'Jeno I..'

A soft smile crawled on his lips, that turned into a strong expression as the taller bit his lower lip.

'Get down on your knees and suck,' he sat down as he waited impatiently for the boy to obey his commands. Jaemin got on his knees, taking his hands on the older's knees parting them. He moved nicely between his legs and unzipped his pants. Taking his member in hand and stroking it, the younger took it inside his mouth and focused on the task he was given.

Jeno's hand traveled in his hair escorting him in moving his head up and down. A breathy groan left his mouth.

'Such a nice little helper aren't you, as always--'

The younger accelerated his moves.

'--fuck.. you only belong to me got it?'

Taking it out of his mouth with a pop ' yes sire,' he dived down on it again.


	8. Chapter 8

'tell me what it says by evening..'

The door slammed hard and loud after I let go of the boy. Getting a good glimpse of the small room due to sunlight peeking through the small window high up in the wall. Dust and dirt covered the floors with mops and buckets in a corner. Basically spider webs were the least of my problems at the moment. Adding the new issue that took place a few seconds ago, I need to start making a list of all the problems I'm going to have to face. Not to forget our dearest Katsu.. that fuck.

When I left the room after cleaning it nice enough for someone to actually stay in there long enough to not die, I made my way to Haechan's room. Knocking on it once... twice... I became impatient and opened it myself. The room was simple yet filled with all the things the boy must've needed or liked. It was spacious and quiet. As if no one was inside or something. Was he even in here?

'Haechan?'

Nothing.

'Oi kid! You here?'

Nothing again.

When I turned my body I got a glimpse of the garden outside through the giant ass window in his room. The kid was running around in his pj's and naked feet, shoes are forgotten somewhere. I turned every drawer inside out to find a pair; which I found in a closet by the door and ran outside.

Wait for a second... how do I even get to that piece of shit of a garden?

Groaned loud not caring about the looks I got from the other workers passing by me, I ran back inside his room and opened the window.. climbing out. It wasn't high but it wasn't low either. And apparently there was a flower bed right under that was freshly watered and my shoe got freaking soaked in mud.

'fucking hell!'

I didn't have time to complain.. yet. So ignoring the amazing morning I got until now I stomped to where the kid sat. He was playing with the mud in the far corner of the garden now. Apparently that wasn't the first side of it. It went on for god knows how long but I knew this much that if Katsu wanted to get rid of a body he wouldn't have to go anywhere else. I gripped the boys' upper arm hard and pulled it enough for him to yell out in pain forcing him to stand up. I shook him once and looked at him with burning eyes.

'What the fuck do you think you're doing?' I greeted my teeth, trying to suppress my anger that was at its peeks. I was not going to get kicked out in just a day because of this brat. But when I raised my voice at him he reacted a lot differently. The boy's chest moved up and down heavily as he stared back at me with scared and glossy eyes.

'Minhyung is hurting me,'

When I got a good view of his clothes my anger that vanished a second ago came back and this time I didn't care who I was dealing with.

'Does it look like I give a fuck!?' I turned around making my way to the entrance of the garden that was not far from where we once stood dragging the boy right behind me who did his best to get out of my grip. When we made it to the hallway of his room he started punching me from the back with his free hand. But it felt as if he wasn't even trying. Fighting with his whole body, his punches were soft. Closing the door of his room behind me he bit me on the arm that held his wrist. I let go instantly.

'you a meany!'

'You need to get changed don't you get it? And why in the world were you playing in that mud huh?' I moved forward with each step earning a step backward from the boy. 'It's almost noon and you're fucking annoying ass can't even do this much!?' I was loud I admit. I stopped not too far from the boy. He kept quiet.

I moved to his wardrobe that was in the opposite corner of where his bed was. Taking a sweater out of many others with shorts. Something came in contact with my face and I lost my balance, falling on my butt.. and hit my head on the wooden floor. Whatever it was, it wasn't a solid material but it got me for some reason. I opened my eyes when I felt legs astride my stomach and soon came another smack.

The kid got on me, beating with a pillow with all his might. Of course, I blocked all of them and even if I hadn't it didn't really hurt.

This brat needs to learn how to fight gosh

Not long after he got tired but continued his slow blows. I got up instantly making him fall back between my legs and at the end laid on the floor since now I was over him. Trapping him under my body. He was still out of breath. I need to make time somehow to teach him some tricks. A smile crawled on my face as I imagined him trying to reach something out of my hands that reached high up and not being able to do so due to being too short. He didn't move a muscle. Moving on my knees slowly, I stood up and tossed the clothes next to him.

'Wear them... I'll back in a minute to check,' I need to get breakfast.

The boy sat up on the floor with his morning hair. 'But Haechan doesn't know how to..' said with a pout.

'Well you never will know if you don't try yourself.. come in the kitchen when you're done!' and I walked away earning loud whines which buried behind the door that I now stood outside of as I closed it.


	9. Chapter 9

'come to the kitchen when you're done..' 

The sizzling of oil under an egg-filled the kitchen with its aroma. The sound of pots and pans moving one place to another. The place was a mess. As the breakfast was being prepared by too many servants, I stood by the door watching the chaos take place. The young ones being scolded every time they made a mistake. Catching the attention of some of the workers as I signed out loud and stepped inside the place, I stopped as they all left what they were doing and bowed. I lowered my head a bit in return not saying a word. At the corner, I slid a wooden stool and dragged it there far away from anything. I watched them all closely.

I sat there for some time waiting... for the breakfast and that brat who never listened to me or anything I had to say. The food was almost ready but the kid never came. That fool. I rubbed my temples and got up. Going back all the way to his room stomping my way through, I reached out my hand to slid open the door but it opened before I did startle myself and the brat.

'fuck!' I muttered under my breath but apparently it was loud enough for him to hear. The boy gasped as he covered his mouth with his sweater paws. 'What?' both of us never took another step as we stood there.

'You said a bad word,'

'So?'

'bad word- a no-no,' he moved his finger side to side in front of my face that was peeking out of his too-long sleeves. I smiled. Not because of what he said or anything like that but realizing after paying attention to the end of his sleeves, he was wearing it inside out and- back to front. This idiot...

I took a step inside the room and closed the door behind me. The kid never moved back and looked up to me as now we stood a bit too close for my liking as his big shiny eyes could be seen a bit too closely and clearly. 'Here, I'll help you.. change..' god this is so damn awkward. But the kid was totally the opposite of me. He got excited and jumped up once leaving his hands in the air. I grabbed the edge of his shirt, my body felt chills as my fingers came in contact with his lower belly underneath. I gulped hard for no reason as my eyes traveled up stopping on his. He giggled.

'Hyungies hands are cold,' I never bothered replying and pulled the sweater over his head. Leaving his hair in disarray.

what the fuck is going on with me!?

After that, I never looked back at his face and quickly changed the sweater over and helped him wear.

We ate breakfast in his room later on as he ordered the servants to set in there for us. The small table on the ground covered with a fancy layer of material decorated with many dishes which I had never mostly seen. In the end, the kid needed help with blowing his food too so it took longer to finish then it should've.


	10. Chapter 10

Since we didn't have anything to do after breakfast- well I never got the schedule for his day so I thought it would be better to explore the place alone but the kid had other plans which most likely included following me where ever I went. The rocks under the shoes made a sound every time the next step was taken. Through the back of the house passing the servant resting area, I followed a pathway that leads to the forest so I went with it. I closed my eyes leaning my head back as the sunshine peeked between the branches of the trees taking a deep breath to take it all in. For some reason, I had a feeling that something bad was going to happen soon.

The sound made from the other pair of shoes that walked beside me put a smile on my face. It felt nice honestly to have company... sure he was kind of annoying but it had barely been a day and I kept on complaining about the poor soul. Maybe with time, I'll get used to having him beside me. But of course not too close either after all we had other plans for him.

I felt bad. When I turned my head over to him his eyes were fixed on something down making me follow his gaze and end up with a huge smile. He was too fucking innocent dang it. The kids' eyes were fixed on my hand, doing his very best not to reach out and hold it. I bit my lower lip and turned my gaze to the front. I sneaked my pinky finger between his hand which he held instantly and looked up. He smiled brightly when I returned the smile he gave and swing our arms back and forth. But it faded away when he suddenly stopped walking.

'Minhyung...'

'What?'

'Will you keep me safe?'

Safe from what? Does he know? Wait- of course, he doesn't. How in the world would he know in the first place, right?

'I don't know what you're referring to but okay I'll you safe,'

He didn't say much afterward, rather just ran ahead 'you're a pudding if you lose to haechan!' I never moved from where I stood. I watched him get smaller and smaller as he ran further into the forest and turned around signaling me to come over. At first, I thought what's so bad about being a pudding but I didn't question him much- well I didn't get a chance to- and ran off. The kid started running again as soon as he saw me run. It didn't take long for me to pass him, he whined soon after closing his eyes and slowing down little by little. A loud thud reached my ears as I turned around and instantly my heart dropped-- he fell. I ran to him and crouched down next to him, a part of me wouldn't have gotten my clothes dirty if I hadn't met the boy yesterday but I kind of got close- just a little and either way he scrapped his knee so I had no choice but to help him out.

'Okay.. if you don't stop crying then I'm leaving you here,' I said, annoyed. I felt like my ears will melt off any second. I seriously need to teach him things. I groaned internally. Fortunately, he stopped crying. I turned my back towards him as a sign to get on but guess he didn't get what I meant as he just sat there with glossy and puffed-up cheeks and stared at me when I turned around.

Hitting him on the head lightly at which the kid 'ouched' I said the same thing but in different words to get him to understand which thank the heavens he did. 'Come on, hyung will give you a horse ride!' I said with excitement in my tone which I was surprised myself that was there. The kid got up and I stood up groaning. He giggled as I started walking back. My fingers were clenched together under the boy butt to keep him up as he wrapped his arms around my neck, face buried in my neck. 'What got you laughing like that?' his warm breath on my neck wasn't helping in keeping my heart calm. 'Hyungie sounds like an old man,'

'hey kid.. you want to spend the night here?'

'm-m..' he shook his head.

When we reached his room by the bed I called out to him but never got a respond- he fell asleep, so I laid him down and cleaned his wound and tucked him under the blankets. I moved his hair away from his forehead 'sleep tight' whispered and left the room. Closing the door quietly I stood there for a second as the tiredness from caring him all the way now took its toll on me.

'Been only a day and the kid has already adjusted well I see..'

I flinched at the sudden voice of a man.


	11. Chapter 11

'Been only a day and the kid has already adjusted well I see..'

That voice.

I knew that voice a little too well given how long I've seen that person. Why now? At least let this day pass without giving my heart any regrets that I'll be getting when the kid finds out. Damn it..

Turning around of course... I couldn't have been wrong. Mr Kim.

I faked a smile 'Good morning,' I bowed, hesitantly.

He nodded back never saying a word as he signaled me with a finger to follow and walked off. Inhaling a good amount of oxygen I went after him.

We were outside, under the trees well in a different area but it all looked the same. Kim took a seat on a bench that was oddly placed between the bushes far behind the path way hidden well enough to not be seen. Lighting his cigar he exhaled the smoke as he adjusted his arm on the back of the bench. I waited for him to say something about his visit. It was never in our plan for him to show up on the very first day. I felt weird. Well basically all of it yet. I never took a seat. Didn't wanted to get close to that thing.

He was sure as hell taking his time to open that mouth of his. I cleared my throat as I payed attention to my surroundings rubbing my upper arm. The slow cool breeze felt nice. It must've been nice to come out with that kid. I smiled under my breath.

'Did you meet with his father until now?' he began.

'Was I suppose to?' never got a reply. Moving forward, he placed his arm on his hips. Throwing the rest of the cigar away. 'Why did you come today?'

'Came to see him,' 

'What did he say?' I asked, burring my hands in pants pocket. I finally looked at him. Our attention was shifted to the house when a loud noise came. Haechan? No.. he was asleep. I calmed down when it dawned on me. But what was that? Before I could turn back around and ask him he passed by me. Going back inside. I never got a chance to here him out or more like for some reason he was trying to get himself out of the question I asked him. We were moving towards the side of the house where his room was. Is he actually going there? I don't get it.. why though? When he took the next turn with me coming fast soon after I almost bumped into his back, I peeked in front of him and he was actually there.

Haechan.

For some reason my heart sped up. His father arrived seconds later with his servants tagging behind him. When I turned my attention to the boy he was already looking at me. The smile that was making its way on my face soon disappeared when I saw tears in his eyes. 'What's wrong?'

On cue, tears started falling down his puffy cheeks. I panicked. He buried his head in my chest and sobbed harder clenching the edge of my shirt as if his life depended on him.

'Stop being dramatic and do as the man says.. nobody asks more of you, child' the man in luxury clothes spoke as another one stood at the far back of the hallway behind him and watched with a smirk on his face. That was the first time I saw him. I was brought out of my thoughts when the kid nearly screamed when Kim tried to touch him. Slapping his hand away. He ran.. outside.

'Haechan!-' 

Katsu signed loud as he closed his eyes. '- bring him to me..' turning around to go back as he further continued '.. do it by force if you have to' he told his servants one of which was Jaemin. Both bowed to their master as he walked away finally. I need to get to him before they do. What was even going on? Why was he crying? I eyed Kim one last time, who in returned waved his hands beside him as saying he didn't do anything and ran out myself as a loud thunder welcomed me.

That brat..


	12. Chapter 12

'That brat..' 

As I jumped off of the porch I looked around desperately, trying to take notice of very possible path way he could've ran off to. But the only place I had a good feeling about was the one we went on and ran there. I hoped I was right. A part of me didn't want the kid to be left alone so I ran as fast as I could. Of course I didn't go much far as I began to lose breath since I never ran. I felt like I was getting to old for someone who was only 24.. well turning 24 soon. I never realized that I never asked the kid about his birthday. I mean would it be alright to ask? After all I heard he doesn't have a mother. What if I mention something bad from the past that could trigger his memory or something. Also since when was I this caring for someone? The fuck.

'Haechan!'

I called out to the boy every now and then. Soon drops of cold rain started pouring now I was getting worried. I heard Jaemin's voice calling out to him as well from somewhere between the forest. Mini forest to make it rather more assuring to the heart the fact that this was still his house I was in. Even after being this deep inside the woods. I was drenched in rain from head to toe and my teeth trembled as I ran in the cold breeze.

It got dark since the clouds covered almost the whole sky making it look as if it would be night soon when in surprise it was just during the afternoon. Okay maybe it was close to night but whatever let's me sleep at night after reminding myself that I'll get a good nights rest if I do my job right and not to forget the money.

I ran and ran and fucking ran.

I wasn't going to get mad at him or anything since it wasn't even his fault well it was before all this. Now well... I was gonna freaking bury him when I got my hands on him. I shouted with all my might as I stopped dead in my track finally. 'LEE-fucking-Haechan!' By now I had no idea where I was.

The sound of rain drops hitting the top leaves of the trees which were surrounding me gave this homey feeling and for a second as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath it felt calm and relaxing and... ouch-

Something hard and small came in contact with the back of my head. I turned around as I rubbed the part that got hit. My vision didn't even focus on what or who it was yet and I was attack to the ground and apparently it wasn't a every good choice made by whoever it was since when I rolled over apparently there was a hill.. the rest like in every damn movie or drama you see in happened and by now my back hit the rough ground hard with the other over me. I groaned and tried to get up, now weighting myself on my arms and looked up to the brats face. He didn't look good. Instantly, before I could even say his name to get his attention over the fact that I was mad at him for weird reasons one of which was he made me run so much- he hugged me.

I'll be honest to you hoes that I was most definitely not expecting something like that from him. Sure I heard he was clingy but I wasn't. Skin contact was not in my favour. As my left hand gripped a good amount of his shirt from the back to pull him away loud sobs stopped me from moving an inch further. I have never heard anyone cry like this.. so desperately and full of emotion? I could feel his tears run down the side of my neck and into the back of my shirt. I sat up straight wrapping arm around his waist while the other patted his back slowly. The rain was getting bad but it felt like he had no plans on moving anytime soon and of course he was not gonna let me move either.

Since I was little from the time my mother died and auntie took me in, she just filled the roll of her being there as someone who knew me or who knew who I belonged to so I was never given the full taste of motherly love. I had no idea how else to put it as. He was crying hard, I wanted to ask what happened? why was he awake after I put him to bed? or was it that he was never really asleep? If he was did he wake up to the sound me and Kim heard? and what was his father talking about?

When I realized that this wasn't going stop and I had to do something, the first thing I thought of was go somewhere private- his room and as I dry him up will tell each other what happened. I snaked my arm under his butt and stood up hugging him tight as he hugged me back like a koala. 'Say something,' I whispered to him when he calmed down a bit. I walked back to the house slowly, I wanted to talk whatever happened before we go there. That would be a lot better. I felt his grip on my back tighten and he nuzzled himself further into my neck. Okay... this is not going to work.

'I can't help you if you don't say something you know,' I notified softly. The kid wan't in the best of condition at the moment so I tried not to burst out on him further worsening the situation which could end up with one of us being killed. I'm just kidding... okay maybe I'm not, you'll never know right?

I signed loud when I still didn't get a reply. By now the path seemed familiar to me. The rain was still in the same condition. Maybe a bit worse but it wasn't like we were in a hurry or something at least that's what I thought.

'you promised,' I barely caught what he said, as his voice came out muffled.

'About what are we talking?'

'you have to keep me safe,' and my heart skipped a beat as I clenched my eyeds tight reminding myself about the promised I made that was meant to be broken sooner or later.

'But I'm keeping you safe, am I not?'

'no..'

'No?'

'Don't make me go..' he spoke one word at a time. Since he was finally talking I took a seat on the bench that Kim sat on a while back. Moving him away from me on the bench with his face towards mine I made him look at me facing his chin up.

'Where am I making you go?' I kept my voice soft. I wanted to get out of him as much as I could. 'hm?'

'That man.. don't make Haechan go to him.' his eyes started to tear up again. I moved away frustrated and stood up.

'Did he say something to you? Tell me.. I'll- I'll talk to him,'

He panicked. His eyes getting glossy with every passing second. He stood up too walking to me. I didn't realize what was going on. Did I miss out on something? 

'Don't make--' he gulped the hard lump in his throat as he continued '--me go, you can't' he shook his head side to side as the tears now made there way down his cheeks. I inhaled as much air as I could. Rubbing my face with the palm of my right hand. His hiccups were not helping me in understanding the situation in peace. I took his cheeks in my hands and pulled him half way as I took a step by the rest. 

'Listen to me.. carefully,' I shook him. Bringing him to his senses. 'You're gonna go, and that's that.. I don't care about anything else-' 

I walked away. 'Hell with the promise, god you're so annoying,' 

To say what was going to happen in the near future because of the decision I made right at this moment, I'll admit honestly... I made a pretty huge mistake.


	13. Chapter 13

When I slid down by the door of my room as I slammed it shut, I let out a breath of relief. Now I need to get a shower and change for the rest of the problems that were soon to come. Some of which I might've caused. Wait, no, why would it be my fault? I'm just a caretaker nothing else. I had to remind myself that part every second of the day. 

I was drenching all over the floor of the small room. Clenching my hands in my hair, I ruffled it and let out an annoyed groan. Should I just give up and go back? To aunties? Gosh I so did not want to do that. I prayed with all my might that things won't get back then they were starting to get. My stomach growled. Fuck it.. I got up taking my clothes from the corner and set out to look for the ever glorious place; the bath room. I never knew for a fact that, that was the last time I would be seeing that brat for some time.


	14. Chapter 14

A week.

That's how long it has been since I last saw that kid. I mean I do see him, but just from afar. He doesn't come to me anymore. As soon as he sees me he turns his direction. Dull, weak and scared. That's the kind of impression of how he looks now a days. I tried to ask him about his day when I came across him in the kitchen on the first day but he just walked past me and asked to have his food in his room and preferred to eat it alone. Everyone got the impression that it was just for a day but guess we were way off.

Jaemin told me not to butt in his business until I was told to do so. At first I wasn't going to listen to him and went to the kid anyway, but as I tried to approach my hand over his shoulder he slapped it away and ran off to his room. Was he angry about the promise he made me yet I never listened? Or was it the fact that got us to this situation now? It didn't made any sense in my head. So I never bothered to give a shit about it in the end. I was here for one reason and one reason only, and I had to follow that. 

I never made any friends in this place. I don't know if it was I who didn't or was it them who didn't? It was Wednesday I believe, that means that I had been here for more than a week now. I put my biceps to good use today as I was lost in thoughts at the back of the house. I wasn't alone. Their were other workers here to wash their clothes as well. A gust of wind blew suddenly, making others come running out the house to hold on to their hanged pairs on the wires in the corner. There weren't any clouds today. The sky was clear and bright as it could be in the evening. The birds chirping and the branches dancing in the wind made all worth the work I did. 

It had been three days including today since I last got the kids daily schedule. One thing I couldn't understand was that sure he wasn't mentally right or whatever; I hated to use that term, but all in all why make a schedule for him? Like come on, let him live in peace.. the kid already doesn't understand enough and here these things were teaching him Japanese? They should teach that master of theirs some manners first. I held the basket of my washed clothes over my hip and went to the other corner which wasn't as much filled. With every sudden jolt I made to the piece of material in my hands to get rid of any what ever you call it to make the clothes less tangled up. 

I decided to take a walk in the end since I had nothing left to do other than prepare that brat for bed which of course wasn't going to happen either. 

Through all the noise made by mother nature it gave peace to the heart. My hands were buried in my pants pocket. The small bean rocks under my shoes gave out sounds that reminded me of that day when I came here with Haechan. I brought my hand out spreading all fives and watched the palm of my hand as I remembered how happily he held on to it. I'll admit.. I missed that idiot. 

Before I could get lost in this giant ass backyard of a thing I turned back. By now the sun had already set. You could barely see glimpse of the moon every now and than through the space between the branches of the trees. The last time I felt this feeling run down all the way down to my spine was when Haechan came out of nowhere well not exactly nowhere but still and I almost had a heart attack. The sound of someone crying echoed. I froze in my spot. Without ever really thinking straight I walked towards it. When the last bush was pushed away from my face to know where it came from. I already had a feeling of where it did... or more like who made it. 

It was him. 

I had never really cried for anyone. Nor did I ever get this much emotional to finally see someone but I did. I did the instant I saw his back far away on a piece of rock, hugging his legs as he cried his heart out in his arms.

What's wrong..

That's what I wanted to ask but I didn't, I couldn't... so I stood there trying to gather enough courage to move my feet which were for some reason glued to the ground. I wanted to call out to him. Tell him to come to me. That deep down a part of me really wanted to keep him safe. To give him anything he asked for.

Don't cry.. 

Call out to him, you idiot. That's what my heart kept saying over and over again but my tongue never let me spell it out. It was dark by now, a little bit but I could still see him enough. It was enough to know that he was still there, curled up like a ball. Enough to know he didn't move. Enough to know he didn't leave me here in this dark. I guess I got lost too much in my thoughts that him calling out my name brought me out of it. 

'Minhyung?' 

He was there. A couple of feet away. His cheeks still wet from tears but he never bothered to wipe them away for some reason. 

'...What?...' I barely spoke. It wasn't until seconds later I realized what I actually said. 

'Please tell me it's not true,' 

huh? I don't get it Haechan. 

'What isn't true? I.. I don't get what are you talking about?' 

I finally moved a step but he only took one back even though he was never close to me in the first place. So his decision went over my head. 

'You, Minhyung..' tears rolled down again. 

Stop it..

'Please tell me you won't be the one to throw me away there,' he begged. 

'... please say it one time..' sobbed harder as he fell on his knees. '..you're hurting Haechan,' 

I didn't had anything to reply back, so I kept quite. ' Who told you that?' 

It was as if me asking that question was enough of a answer for him. He lost the little shine of hope in his eyes as he stood up and wiped his tears with his sleeves. '..guess you will..' 

And he walked away. Leaving me in this darkness.


	15. Chapter 15

Don't leave me..

Please..

Not you too..

I clenched my fist hard as the scenes from the day my mothers body was found started playing in my head. It has been a while since I actually cried. I can't break down. Not over this, something like this. If he got attached to me it's his fault not mine. It's not mine. I don't care about him. No. Never... that won't ever happen. I grabbed a fist full of my hair as I feel on my knees in this dark hell. It felt as if it won't ever end. As if just like that dream never leaves me alone I'll be stuck here too. I guess this was how I was meant to live my life. I won't let that brat of a thing get to me just because of the tears in his eyes that filled up every time I disappointed him or whatever. 

Leave me alone.. 

Go away.. 

Go the fuck away.. 

I touched the rough ground with my forehead as I screamed with all my might. I won't let him get to me. No.. never. Not gonna happen. I laughed. This is what happens to things like me I see. Who even think of ruining someones life for money. This is what happens- 

My brain couldn't process the information as to what happened. But I wrapped my arms around his waist tight as I buried my head in his neck when he jumped on me and hugged. 

'Don't leave me, you can't...' I mumbled in his neck. He clenched onto the back of my shirt harder. Did he hear me? Or was it that he never left? 

He never said anything. I couldn't stop my tears. I wished that I could've met him in a better life. That's all I've been thinking of since the day I saw his picture in Kim's hands. Maybe then we could've gone for a walk without having the urge to run back for not being scolded. We could've done so much more without having to be worried about all these stupid rules. 

'...you... you're hurting Minhyung,' It barely left my mouth which soon earned a giggle from the koala that had latched itself on to me. A small smile crawled on my face. 

'Do you wanna run away with me, Haechan?' I whispered even though we were alone in these woods. The boy moved back as his eyes matched mine. He took a few seconds but nodded slowly, I caught him by the waist and hugged him back. I needed this warmth just for a little longer.

I smiled to myself. 

Everything was going according to the plan.


	16. Chapter 16

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I stayed down staring at the ceiling of the small room. It barely fitted my legs in both way. The sunlight peeking through the small window in the wooden wall high up traced out the window bars over the door. The birds chirping could be heard. The wooden floor under my buttocks squeaked as I sat up. What time is it? I searched for the small broken clock that I brought with me here. 11:38

I slept in. Before going to bed last night I took a shower so the only thing to do now was to change out of these clothes and wash them and well.... right that brat. I made my way to his room, without knocking I slid open the door. The past days I spent I realized that he never opens the door himself even if I knock so might as well. There he was. Sitting on the edge of the bed wiggling his legs. 

He looked up as soon as I came in view and smiled getting up excitedly. I smiled back when he came close and stood still looking up at me. As my eyes went down to check how much of work I had to deal with today starting from changing his clothes, they were changed already and surprisingly the right way this time. 

'Shall we go for breakfast?' and he nodded. 

I extended my hand to him as I took a few steps to the door. He looked really happy that I did and held on tight through his long sleeves. This boy really loves over sized sweaters. He jumped and wiggled and what not on our way to the kitchen. But I kept quite trying to keep my eye on him which was pretty damn impossible to do. I dragged him to a stool at the counter and went to help make breakfast. His eyes were on every move I made. I stuffed it all neatly in a little basket which he stared at curiously. 

'Did you not brush your hair today, Haechan?' he gasped notifying me with his reaction that he clearly forgot but I let it be just for today. For some reason he looked acceptable today. Maybe he did every day but I never noticed oh well. 

When we reached the back lawn and on the path we went to a walk on he finally asked which he clearly looked curious about for the past half hour. 'Where are we going, Minhyung?' he never looked at me as he questioned rather swinged our entwined hands back and forth. My other hand held on the the basket and a blanket. 

'For a picnic since the weather is nice today,' 

'Picnic?' I hummed back. 

'What's a picnic?' 

'Umm.. let's find a good place to sit at then I'll tell you,' 

'What will we do there?' for a second my mind started having bad thoughts which I shooed away. 

'We'll set this blanket and sit on it and have a good time,' 

'Then what about breakfast?' I laughed 

'Of course we'll eat too silly,' 

'But Haechan's not silly~' whined. 

'Alright alright, I'll be silly for today then,' I looked around. We could sit anywhere here but the ground was too rough we walked for a bit more. 

'Will we go to Haechan's hide out?' 

'Your hide out?' a chunk of his hair moved up and down as he nodded. 

'I'd would love to go there, would you take me?' 

'm-hm.. if Minhyung won't say,' 

'I won't,' I moved a finger over my lips as if to keep quiet. And that was cue for him to pull my arm and drag me to god knows where as we ran. It wasn't long after when we came into an opening between all these trees. I was taken aback for a bit. It was beautiful. The bright green grass and that huge tree in the middle. How can it be like this in winter. I walked further when Haechan shouted my name to get my attention after getting lost in my thoughts. The sun was bright but just enough. He waited for me under a tree which as I got closer came out to be an apple tree. It had enough shade for us to sit under. As I set the blanket which the boy didn't help me in until I forced him to do so. 

We sat down and set out the food. The boy more happy when I took out the soft buns he liked which I learned to make the time he wasn't giving me attention in. 

'How did you find this place, Haechan?' I asked as I munched on a rice ball. 

'Haechan came with mom,' I could barely make out what he said since his face was stuffed. 

'Your mom? Where is she now?' 

'Mom went to find Haechan's ball... Haechan lost it here,' 

'I see,' so she left the kid. 

'Haechan played here all day and mom would find my ball when I lost it but dad no like,' 

'What didn't dad liked?' 

'He doesn't like mom and Haechan too,' 

'Do you know why he didn't like you guys?' 

'Mom says since Haechan doesn't study so dad gets mad at her,' 

'Oh,' I didn't know what to say to the kid. He was so innocent. What will happen when he finds everything out? I cleared my throat and sat straight up. 'So tell me did you liked the buns more or spending time here with me?' I crossed my arms over my chest as I smiled at him curiously. He giggled and pointed his finger poking out of his sweater towards me. 

'Haechan likes Minhyung the most,' For some reason I just smiled at him, well honestly I had nothing to say in return. I can't just tell him to hate me or whatever. 

'Does Minhyung like Haechan too?' he tilted his head in the end. I gulped. 

'Sure,' 

'Really?' He slid a bit towards me. 

'Yeah,' baby... 

'Then Haechan will share this with Minhyung since you won't leave me,' he pulled a soft bun apart and put it inside my hands. I felt like crying. Fuck.. what the hell have I done. 

When we were both done with eating, I planned on packing everything else in the basket and lay down for a while but the boy had other plans. He stood up and pulled my arms forcing me to stand up. 

'What?' 

'We will go to Haechan's hide out now,' 

'Wait this wasn't it?'

'no-no,' 

We went back further behind the tree but rest of the area was closed off by bushes so I stopped. The kid got on his knees and crawled in the bushes. He called out to me mins later asking me to come as well which I did. It was like a cave but made of bushes. There was only space to sit in there. It was cool. We came back to the tree after a while and didn't leave until late lunch. The walk home was nice too and the kid never let go of my hand either. The whole way back he never closed his mouth and kept singing. 

Haechan likes Minhyung~ 

Minhyung likes Haechan~ 

The lunch was good too. In the evening we went for a bath during which I had to catch that brat like a million times. When I pulled the blanket over him at night, I finally let out a heavy sigh.

I planned on staying beside him for a while but a knock on the door interrupted me. I had to move quickly in case whoever it was did it again and I would've ended up with a wide awake annoying brat.


	17. Chapter 17

It was that guy.

I've been getting glimpse of him every now and then but never got to see his face until now, as he stood in front of me at the very moment with a bottle of what looked like alcohol in his hand. When I stepped out of the kids room carefully sliding the door closed behind me, he moved a step back giving me enough space to stand. He was almost the same height as me but definitely younger... at least that's what I thought. There was no other way of confirming it other then asking the man himself which I was most probably not gonna do. The little grin on his lips never left. I wanted to inform him about the fact that the kid was already asleep so there was no point in visiting and go to bed ending the day here today. But he had totally different plans. When I parted my lips to speak up, he beat me to it.

'Want to drink with me?' 

I raised a brow at his question. Was he actually asking that? Why me? I mean why ask a worker something that could make them get kicked out. I must've stared at the bottle raised between us for too long when he shook it in order to get me back to my senses. Would it be okay to say yes? I gulped hard as I stole a glance at the liquid inside the bottle one more time before I actually came to face him. 'If it doesn't include in me getting kicked out when we get caught then sure,' i kept it short and notified with a firm tone. 

'Don't worry even if we do, after all I am a part of this house hold... I'll get to it later on,' 

What's that suppose to mean? 

I never talked further when I heard a faint groan from inside the room, it was cue to take our little conversation far away where no one can hear us. But in his mind, the living was the best option where me and Kim sat at the very first day. 

'Please take a seat after all we are drinking buddies for now,' he spoke up when he sat down on the sofa and saw me standing by the door. It made me uncomfortable. What you ask? The fact that he now sat at the same place Kim once did and after him Katsu. He never turned on the lights which I found odd but it seemed as if he read my mind even in the dark.. 'I just thought it would be much nicer to drink in the moonlight,' he pointed towards the larger glass window in the wall in front of where I stood. The moonlight did make it easier to see in the darkness so I was fine with it. Even though I had been in this room once, I still managed to dodge the furniture placed between the room and finally set my buttocks down on the soft cushion of the sofa at the opposite side. 

Pouring down the liquid into the glass he brought with him, he slid one towards me and picked up his own in the middle waiting for me. I stared at it then to his arm that was holding the other in the air. What was he tryin to do? I slowly moved.. 'Can you hurry up my arms hurting now..' he spoke as if I was the one who insisted him in the first place to do all this. We clinked our glasses... well, however, he did it I just held it up off the table. I took it all in at once. That bitter sweet taste hit the spot as my face expression said the rest. I hissed as I put the glass on the table next to his which was surprisingly still half filled. I didn't care and poured myself another glass and did the same as before. He watched me take another one and the next one until the bottle was half and now I was left with the blurry image of the man sitting in front of me. 'Some one has been having it tough,'

'Its just.. fuck..' 

'Something happened?' he asked as he leaned forward curiously. 

'How do you know him?' he held himself back when I asked. It was as if he wasn't expecting me to ask such thing thinking I was now hungover and might spill something to him in the end. At least that's what I got from all this after all why would someone in such luxurious clothing take it even as a night gown sit down and drink with a commoner like me. Not to end it there, and to do so invite me himself? It was suspicious. 

'Uncle. He's my uncles son. Cousins? If that satisfies your need to look at me with such... eyes,' he started back just as intensely as I did. I felt as if he knew about me. I don't know why but I did and my heart slowly kept sped up as we continued on talking and at a point when he asked me a question it skipped a beat. 

'So you plan on doing something?'

'What's that suppose to mean?' I muttered. 

He smirked and took a sip of his glass. 'You seem like some one who would come to a place like this because of a specific reason,' 

'And what makes you say that?' 

'How else would you explain your visit here and through a man like that?' 

'You mean Kim?' 

'Yes... that guy..' 

I sighed heavily. What was I suppose to say to him? Should I just say that I was forced here? No. That would make it hard later on for me or maybe they might use it against me some how but then it could help me leave this place without much of an excuse as to me just hate being here and all that. I wonder if that would work... if they'll buy my lies. And if it didn't well... that was a totally different situation for another time to deal with.

'You're hesitating.. you have a good relation with that man or not?' 

'No..' blurted. 

'I-I just don't plan on staying for long.. that's all,' 

'I see. How do you plan on going back then?' I gave him a questioning look. I didn't understand his intention behind all these questioning, is this the reason for him to invite me for a drink? I couldn't reply. I didn't had anything to say. 

'I don't care what you do... all I wanted to let you know is the fact that when you leave make sure there isn't even a bit of a drama caused in this house hold and of course take care of the kid before you leave he gets.. attached to people easily.'

I looked at the liquid in the bottle again. I wanted to drink it all but before I could come to my senses the bottle was already placed on my lips and I drank it all in one go. In the end, I could label myself as officially drunk. 

'.. what if ... I.. take him... with me?' he snorted. 

'Do you plan to do so?' 

I watched him looking at me, expecting to answer his question. I wanted to remove that smug on his face so bad. Should I just smash this bottle on his face? Getting drunk with all this wasn't helping either, there is one of him and now I could see two more and it was getting on my nerves even more. 

'Will you stop me from doing so?' 

'Don't be so hard on him but then who am I kidding-' he stood up walking to the door '-his charms are weird in such a way that one always ends up coming back and coming back means digging your own grave,' he held the door handle and turned to me, specifying the last part in a odd tone. 

'You know... you're weird,' this time I turned around to look at him as he further continued. 'How?' 

'You never asked me my name?' 

'All these rich guys coming to my face and blurting it out themselves before I could ever even ask so I thought you might do it too sooner or later,' 

'Weird. It's Jeno--' he left before muttering the last part '--I'm on your side and if you do plan on escaping him from here do notify me before hand will you?' 

What in the world makes you think I would do something like that, you fool? When I walked out the room standing in the hallway, it was empty. He was gone. I dragged myself back to the room, my head was spinning... gosh. Sliding open the door and closing it behind me, I slumped down on the bed with a loud groan getting comfortable under the blankets.


	18. Chapter 18

Soft taps on my back awoke me from my slumber. Did I sleep in again?

gosh

I woke up groaning as the on coming headache took over. I sat on my knees and ruffled my hair... the image that came in front of my eyes as I opened them was not very informative as to how in the world I ended up here. When the realization of last night came back and also the part that I was awoken by someone right now I turned around fast and met with a pair of eyes and a huge purple wound on the neck of the kid. I screamed. Yes.. you read that right. I screamed. And fell off the bed. The landing wasn't good which could've been expected. Soon a bundle of laughter filled the room and seconds later the door to the room opened. Which to be very honest made my heart skip a beat when I saw Jeno standing in the doorway and Katsu in the middle of the room, glancing once at me then to his kid and most likely the huge purple wound on his neck.

I swear to god I had no idea how he got it but from the looks of things I was clearly taken as the suspect and the next thing I know I was being dragged to god knows where with Haechan skipping his steps behind and Jeno was nowhere to be seen.

We passed through a number of doors which I counted to 13 last afterward I gave up. By now we were in a totally unidentified place and it didn't look nice either. I was scared.

The two servants that held me from my arms when asked, left alone me, Haechan and Katsu behind. The place looked dark; as in not like I couldn't see, but like it had a weird and bad energy to it. I wanted to get out of here. But much to my surprise Katsu began before I could spit something out.

'Leave us,' he spoke in a voice as if informing the kid not telling him to do so. 

He looked at me once, I nodded just because whatever that guy had to say I didn't want the kid to hear it. I had my pride too you know. Without getting any hint of what was about to happen he skipped out the door happily. Cute kid.. 

I turned back to the man who was already looking at me, I wondered for how long. The place was distracting but I kept my eyes on him, even though that was the last thing that I ever wanted to do.


	19. Chapter 19

I had never felt pain like this before. I mean sure aunt would hit me, also the fact that I often had fights with the kids in the neighbourhood that I lived in; we never got along or I always felt like they never liked me from the start. The left side of my face became numb the first few seconds when I stumbled on the ground hard. The weird sign pitch in my left ear didn't help the situation either. I felt dizzy. It was suppose to be just a slap but for some reason it ached more 'cause I wasn't expecting it I guess.

'Get up-' he muttered '-now!'

His voice was stern and loud all of a sudden. I couldn't understand what this was about, the wound? I got up from the floor turning back to the man as he slapped me too hard that I fell backwards. I could feel the area start to burn as he spoke.

'I never got to ask, what was your reason for coming here?' 

I gulped. I could feel my stomach drop. Does he know? Did Kim say something to him already or not? 'cause if he did and I say something else he'll definitely kill me best here and now. In the end, who would care for a petty orphan of a servant.

My face moved to the floor by my feet. I realized I wasn't wearing my shoes. I parted my lips that got dry when the question was asked. I bit my lower lip and gulped again, the lump in my throat made it seem like I would end up crying at any second, well to me at least no one else was here to notice that and him, I doubt that it would even have an affect on him like at all.

He cleared his throat trying to get my attention but I never looked up. I knew what was in front of me.

'He brought me here,'

'Who?' I don't know what he was expecting to get out of this conversation. He never waited for my reply either.

'Hm... interesting man-' What did he mean by that? He stepped towards me one at a time as he spoke his nonsense further. But as he continued he had all my attention by now. I was surprised that it happened in the first place. '- do you know who he is?' 

'Mr Kim?'

'Is there someone else then?' 

'No,' that no took more effort to pass through my throat then it should have. He laughed. Fuck, I hated him.

'Do you, then?' 

'I don't understand what you're asking,' I did but I didn't wanted to spill more information then asked so I pretended to be dumb. That smile on his face disappeared.

'What he does; his work line? Do you know what he does?'

'Of course--' I spoke with confidence in my voice for once '-- he's a conman,'

'And is that all?'

And it went away as soon as it came. 'There's more?' I was honestly very surprised. He moved his face closer to mine, leaning to my ear to whisper something.

'He sells children,' It was a lot to process. The whole plan.. was it fake? Did he actually planned to sell him? For money? He looked fine in accordance to wealth. It didn't made much sense though. Or was it this guy, who was just trying to get into my head. Even if he does what he does, how did he know? 'I don't know if you are pretending to be dumb about everything and anything or maybe you just are but just to let you know; you must've have met Jaemin I believe?' 

I moved back from him.

'Where do you think all these kids came from? Human trafficing, kid. He sells them or sometimes just their organs if the rest is not in good condition. The meat in the food you eat here, what do you think it is?' He fucking laughed like a maniac. 

I covered my mouth as I felt like vomiting. I shuddered and ran. I did not wanted to hear another word coming out of that things mouth.

I did not knew where I was going. Turning to the first corner I bumped into someone. The kid fell on the ground. 

'Minhyung!' it was the brat. Fuck not now. I had sweat on my forehead by now. I tried my best not to meet his eyes. He got up and took out a paper from his shorts pocket. It was a folded paper which he took much longer to unfolded then it needed. I got irritated. 

'Just fucking open it already!' He flinched and looked at me with a hint of fear and surprise in his eyes. I'm sorry...

I snatched it out of his hands and forced it open, ripping a good part of it from the side on doing so. 

'It's Minhyung... and.. this is Haechan with Mr Bunny on a walk! Let's go on a walk Minhyung!' He grabbed my hand and pulled me but I never moved.

Fuck.

I wanted to scream and shout. Just someone please get me the hell out of here. 

I tried to pull my hand back but he held on to it, so when I forced it away he slammed in the wall beside and slid down. The paper fell down where he stood before. When I moved to walk away he hugged my right leg. Please... please... he muttered more to himself. I need to leave before it gets worse.

I pushed him away and walked forward. I could still feel him trying to grab a hold of the material of the pant I was wearing. He screamed and cried loud. Slamming the palm of his hand on the wooden floor. I moved faster to my room. He got me in the hall way from the back trying his best to stop me. His face buried to my back. When it didn't work either he came running in front of me. By now I was a few feet away from my door. He cried loud trying his best to get my attention. I didn't look at him, I couldn't. He started hitting me with punches with no strength in them on my chest. 

I forced him aside and ran to my door, opening it. Took out my suitcase that I brought I started putting clothes back into it. He grabbed my arm, hugging it tight. I stopped moving. Leaning to the front he grabbed the nicely folded pair of clothes and threw it out. I put it in again folding the whole thing yet he did the same again. 

'I have too..' my voice was barely audible. 

'Haechan hates it!' he whined. 'Haechan hates it so much,' he took a second to breathe after every few words. He got up picking the empty suitcase and moved out the door with the intention of hiding it I believed. 

I'll admit I didn't know why I did what I did but still it felt right at the moment. A part of me, just a little bit also regretted it but I had to focus on what was in front of me right now. 

I grabbed his right upper arm and the door handle with the other slamming it shut, grabbing both his hands and pressed him to the wall. His hand held tight over his head on both sides and my thigh between his legs, my lips between his. I was fucking drunk on this kid. 

I didn't let him breathe. Sliding my hands all the way down to his hips and picked him up. Spreading his legs to hold around my waist. My one hand slipped inside his short from the back and slid it off slowly. The other unzipped my own pants. 

We were both going to ruin each others lives. 

I wanted to make the most out of it.

I forced myself in him but he never stopped him. Clinging my body to him as if my life depended upon him. I turned us around to where I slept and got on my knees laying us down, and moved my hips instantly. Guiding my hands in his and holding them tight I fastened my moves. 

I wanted him to know what it meant to be with me if he wanted me to stay with so much eagerness.


	20. Chapter 20

The knock on the door forced silence in the house, and everyone that was busy, were now curious as to who managed to visit them at such a bad timing due to weather. It was like an uninvited guest, just like the thoughts that enveloped me whole right before all the silence. 

I could hear voices downstairs but never moved from where I sat in the window. Not long after the attic door knocked and opened to my aunt. 

'Someone's here for you,' she opened the door widely. 

'Would you be so kind to leave us alone,' he didn't wait for the woman's reply and closed the door on her face. I turned my direction back to the window, watching the roads getting muddier by the second. 

My fingers tightened on the book in my hands when he finally spoke about the matter he was here for. I didn't want to look at his face, it reminded me of the conversation we had when I went to the market for 'daily work' a few days ago. If only he hadn't caught me pick-pocketing I wouldn't have been in this situation. Apparently I owed him now since he never reported me, and the people I worked with to the villages police. 

When I heard shifting of things, I looked back to finding that guy going through my books which I had recently kept safe. 'Did you think about what I told you?' he began. I had a feeling he didn't plan on leaving from here as long as I didn't agree with him.I never gave him a reply, nor did I had anything to say. 

'You better think fast, since you are about to get a visitor soon,' he emphasized on the 'are' while going through a book of poetry. 'What visitor?' I finally put pressure on my vocal cords and formed words from this mouth of mine which never took my side in times of need. In the end, I was still thankful that I managed to reply. 

He looked up smiling from the book; closing it shut and pushing it back in its place on the shelf. When he walked to the direction I was in, I forced my legs down and sat straight. 

'Katsu,' he whispered as he stood next to me now leaning against the wall, it was as if it was something that could ruin someones day if they heard. What the hell is a Katsu? That was the first thought that came to my mind. 'He's sending somebody to you,' 

'I don't get it- who's Katsu?' 

'You have to open your ears and listen carefully as to what I'm about to say to you,' I just nodded my head in return. It still get into my head as to what was happening. Who this guy even was? For some reason it felt like he was lying to me. 'Someone is going to visit you in a while, he's going to talk a load of crap about ' marriage' and 'daughter, love' shit, don't believe what he has to say, sure listen.. just don't actually believe.-' 

'Why?'

'He works for that guy; Katsu. The person whose going to visit you soon is known as Mr Kim, no one knows his real name. They both kidnap kids, mostly guys especially if they're orphans in that case like you,' it hurt that word defining you 'they sell them, or mostly use them for illegal stuff, or they're cut to pieces and fed to the dogs that guard the walls of the property he stays in,' 

'What exactly is the illegal stuff you're referring to?' I couldn't did my head around the fact that I was about to become part of this mentioned illegal stuff. 

'Since you're mostly kidnapping kids, which 6 out of 10 are underage and used for sexual activities I'd definitely say its illegal. And the sad part is I know personally one of them, well you'll know him soon enough too, he's a charming kid' the corner of his lips turned up slightly. I felt as if he imagined whoever he was talking about. I got curious. 

'And what am I suppose to do in all this?' 

'Go with their plan, but only focus on the result of the one I'm telling you about,' 

'Which is?' 

'Help me get someone out of there,' was he talking about the kid from earlier? It didn't seem like it. 

'Mind if I ask who this someone is? Lover, perhaps?' He snickered a bit, biting his lower lip afterwards. 

'Yeah, a lover indeed,' 

'What about the charming kid you were talking about earlier? Don't you want to get him out of there too?' I stretched my neck up, following his back as he got up and walked to a chair, on which he hung his coat when he came. He seemed like a well off guy. 

'That charming kid, the names Haechan, 18, most of the people in the house refer to him being as 'mentally ill' but I don't use that term, traumatize suit his situation better, with all the rapes and shit, he deserves a better life, and a lover,' he fucking winked at me in the end. 

'You're disgusting,' he laughed in return. 

'You won't be calling me stuff like that when you actually fall for that kid and trust me.. you most definitely will,' our conversation was interrupted with a knock on the door, my aunt's daughter entered with two cups of coffee. I wondered why she was suddenly being so generous for, but the look on her face explained it all. This bitch. Such a fucking slut as always. 

Jeno caught on pretty quickly as to why I was making such a weird face to the girl, when he made eye contact with her. She got annoying to deal with so he basically had to push her out the door forcefully with an excuse of 'we're having an important conversation' which of course wasn't an excuse, I have no idea why I just said that. 

'All in all, you need to keep your act as if you're there because of that Kim guy, and we'll talk about what he says to you on the whole situation later,' 

'How? I mean how will we talk?' 

'I live in the house you're going to, you fool,' In the end, I never said anything to him other than just a goodbye. He asked to leave but from any other door in the back since he didn't want to run into that freak who was about to visit. I grabbed my cup of coffee and the book I was reading, well pretending to read. 

As soon as he left, chattering and loud voices could be heard from downstairs. I had the habit of never leaving this corner. It got boring but it was better than being in the middle of all that rubbish. 

Not long after loud bangs on the door forced silence in the house. Must've been eager to get in the house, considering it was raining. 

A bottle of alcohol tastes different depending on your mood. And right now it tasted like poison. How much longer did I had to pretend that I did not know the person sitting opposite to me on the couch busy sipping from his glass. How much longer? I was tired. At first I thought, I just wanted to tell him to shut up and let me go live the hell of a life I was living before all this. Before it got more messier than it should've been. I took a one shot. All of a sudden wanting to devour the poison that was in this bottle. I felt sick to the stomach being this close to anyone from this house. These people were psychopaths. And I felt like I was becoming one of them. I needed to get out of here before this person, Kim or Katsu, anyone finds out. 

I told him everything that Kim told me back at the house, every single detail; the plan, his daughter, haechan's escape, marriage and the part where we- he planned to leave him in the asylum in the end. I felt like throwing up when I heard afterwards the words that left his mouth. 

But Kim doesn't even have a daughter. 

He's not even married. 

He's a loyal dog, that fuck. 

Did you ask him how long has he been serving in this house hold? 

I bet you'd be surprise to hear that he was one of the servants here. 

He has fucked that kid more times than anyone can imagine. 

Did you not notice that kids behavior around that man? 

Haechan's father promised to sell him to Kim if he keeps bringing new servants he can play with. 

Why do you think you're here?

You shouldn't trust people so easily.

When I fell on the bed that night, I didn't realize that I was not suppose to be here. In his bed I mean. But it was so warm and soft. I couldn't focus my vision anymore. I started kissing the kid on the neck. I let myself sink on his skin more when he wrapped his arms and legs around me. I wanted to tell him that I'll get him out of here. I'll give him a home. A true home. But the condition was that he'd belong to me and only me.

'Minhyung...' he pushed me back slightly.

'Mhmm,' 

'Please no,' 

'Okay.... anything for you,' and I didn't realize when I drifted off to my dreams.

Servants he can play with. 

Servants he can play with. 

The thought just kept echoing in my head. The second he dragged me in this place. I had no idea where I was. And the fact that what I heard about him yesterday, I felt sick to my stomach. I was afraid that he could do something to me right at this moment. After all I was just a messily servant. 

Was this how Kim brought all these people here? Planned on helping him with something but ended up being the plan itself. Every person in this house hold had a different kind of story. Now that I heard what this man actually does to people who don't listen. 

Don't you know what kind of meat you eat? Why? What kind of meat is it? 

I ran away. I felt like a crazy person every time I woke up here.


	21. Chapter 21

Two weeks.

That's all that I had left to get everything done. At this point, I was fully convinced in my self and all the efforts I had made until now- I fully had the kids trust in me. Of course that was what I thought. I still had to make sure if it was true or not. But that was the least of my problems at the moment.

When I woke up this morning, I went straight out the room, having internal crisis just out the door. I slammed my head on the wooden wall on the opposite side a few times. I was a fucking asshole- for what I had done. I was now nothing less than the things living under this roof. 

Walking towards the bathroom, planning on taking a long bath on the way to get rid of the chaos happening inside my head. I was bare feet, feeling the cold surface underneath my foot when an stupid idiot decided to bump into me making me accidentally bite my own tongue. I groaned, annoyed. Why does every morning has to start with something bad happening gosh?

I was gonna rip them apart this time for sure. But of course, what was I thinking, I was too damn soft for the servants in this house even if I didn't want to be. A boy in shorts and overly large t-shirt, which was slid off of his right shoulder, stood before me. His head hung low, feet rubbing against each other and fingers playing together. He looked too young. When I parted my lips to ask who he was or anything to be exact, I heard whimpering coming from inside the bathroom. 

Turning my face towards the sound, I could see the kid from the corner of my eye looking up at me. Furrowing my brows, I took a step forward only to be held back from the back. 

'...please..no...' I only smiled at him and grabbed his wrist, loosening his grip on my shirt. I just nodded at him and moved inside step by step. As I got closer, the whimpering got louder. I stopped. Turning back to the little kid, I moved my hand on his cheek. 'listen...'

'Jisung,'

'.. right... jisung... why don't you go get someone for help hm?' I ruffled his hair when he nodded and ran off. I begged in my heart that it wasn't happening as to what I could hear like it sounded. 

But I was wrong. 

Kim was leaning over someone, his face was turned the other way, but a part of me whispered that it was Jaemin. No, it can't be him, it just can't. Right? I wasn't in my right mind anymore, so I just started to move to the two. That pig was using his dick to think, raping a boy that young. I felt my blood boil. I wanted to shred him apart. My eyes started to water when the boy under him looked at me, the emotion they showed was hopelessness. He was bruised all over his face, as if brutally beaten. 

'Jaemin....' I barely let out. Kim flinched at my voice at first with fear in his eyes, but it turn back to nothing when he saw me. He got back up, buckling his pants. 

'whooo.... that was something,' he laughed.

That motherfucking asshole laughed. 

That's it, he was dead. 

Let the war begin.


	22. Chapter 22

The puddle of blood increased in size with every passing second. I breathed heavily never giving a fuck about the fact that what had I just done. I heard a cuss from the back when someone came running. 'What have you done, you fool,' I turned a bit, finding Jeno standing in the door way with Jisung standing next to him, shocked expression painted on their faces.

'It's not my fault that he brought someone like me here, I don't give two shits about anyone here but using someone extends the limit,'

'That does not mean you fucking murder someone,' he greeted through his teeth as he walked to me grabbing me by my collar.'Why? It shouldn't be a big deal considering you already slaughter kids and feed them to the dogs. Might as well add one more to the pantry,'

'I don't do such things,' he let go.

'Yeah, well, you're not doing something about it either,' I stopped in spot when he began our conversation further that should've stopped at the previous sentence from my mouth. 'Cause now, I was fucking pissed to the limits.

'Don't think that just because you weren't raised in such an environment, you're pure- I know, I know your intentions and if I see even little hint of weird behavior from you, might I remind you, I will deal with it all myself,' 

I skipped a step and punched him in the face hard. Not expecting something, he stumbled back and fell on his back. Hitting his head in the end. Jaemin got up and leaned over him, blocking my next blow. Jisung hugged my left leg crying. Begging me not to do something else.

'Stop.... please... don't do something more than whats already done,' Jaemin spoke further looking at me, I looked away- I couldn't look at him 'We need to get rid of this guy before someone else sees... and... someone needs to clean this mess up too,'

Jisung and Jaemin stayed behind cleaning the blood. I never even once in my life thought that there will come a time when I would have to drag a god damn body behind me in this forest of a garden. 

By now, there was no point on complaining about being here. I was already here for almost half a month and all I need to focus now was to get the hell out of here, after I'm done digging this god damn hole in the ground. Jeno stood watching, while I was doing the hard... and sweaty part. 

In the end, we both dropped the body and covered it up- this time the moron helped. 

I had to get rid of my clothes now too, considering the blood patches in a few places. The walk back inside felt a little too long. I just wanted to go to sleep now. I was too damn tired to keep myself awake any longer. But the thing with all this was that, I left a part of me back there. Next to the unwanted grave of Kim. 

If I was to actually think about this whole 'plan', I realized something. Even though I was here to save someones life, I wasn't the hero in this story. I was meant to be the villain when needed. I was merely a worker, orphan, who these people needed at times like these to keep their hands clean. No one would mourn when I would be gone. These things would dance and sing on my grave if they could. But then in the end, who knows they actually might. 

I was lonely. 

I've known that all this time, but it hurt to actually admit to it. These four walls felt more close sometimes then anything ever could. I clenched the dirty laundry in my hands to chest as I actually accepted the fact that I really was.. 

'I'm lonely,' I whispered, hoping someone might actually listen and maybe just lie for a few minutes to give my heart peace that I'm not. 

I wondered if I was the bad person in every persons lives that I've met, or was it just mine? 

I don't consider myself a bad person, but then I wasn't a good person either. When I say I need to just go to bed at the end of the day, I mostly mean crawling to make it to bed at the end of the day when everything feels too heavy. I say the end of the day, but it's mostly the beginning. I'm only a good person, except for when I'm not. 

I don't mean what I say except for when I do.

I lay back down. My back touching the cold surface through the material of the blooded shirt. Moving my arm over my face. I try to drift off to dream land, I was too tired to stay in the real world. 

For today, I had committed the second greatest sin in my life:

Firstly Rape and now,

Murder.


	23. Chapter 23

[4 days later]

Every second in this house had been anxious.

Every time, I saw someone coming in my direction, I was expecting them to grab me by my hair and through me in a dark room where I'll rot to death for murdering someone. I was also seeing Jeno often now. I couldn't understand his motive. What was he expecting? Was he waiting for something? Or was it more like... keeping an eye on me so that I don't open my mouth.

I gulped the lump in my throat. I was thirsty. Katsu passed by, glaring each servant standing in a line.

Kim was officially reported missing.

Nobody knew where he was. And this house was the last place everyone saw him at, so Katsu was getting talked about. His ego could not bare that. So if he saw anyone talking about the matter and pointing fingers at him, that person was fed to the dogs. How did I knew when no one has actually seen that happening?

Cause apparently, when you're dragged by two random people, through the woods and never come back with them. And of course, the screams.

The screams. God that part is so damn terrifying.

I wanted, at this very moment to be like a writer. So focused on the little details. Like how everyone at this moment, standing in this line; their lives depending on their every move. How they were shifting from one feet to the other. Or how their eyes were fixed on their feets- bruised and naked. Moving the eyes above and one could see the knees with purple wounds. Some old and some new. The ripped clothes and skinny bodies. Miserable in every way. I wanted to see all that in the boy that stood on the opposite side to me, but I couldn't. Because the kid in the window behind him had all my attention. 

Those eyes peeking through the curtains, I could recognize them from far away. He waved at me, expecting the same thing in a reply but I shifted my gaze down to my feet. Trying my best to hide the smile that was crawling its way to my lips. Making their corners turn up for no damn reason. 

He will be the death of me. 

Literally. 

I wanted to think about anything else. Anything, maybe like how the plants beneath my feet were pushing through the soil bit by bit each day, but instead I kept thinking about how his fingers slid between mine so perfectly. 

Those little freckles that were barely there and the moles. His brown eyes and the curl of his hair resting on his forehead as he stood close to me staring into my eyes just like I was staring into his. 

The thought of someone catching us if I ever touched him again terrified me. 

I wanted to say it. 

How I felt, but I was- more terrified of the consequences they'll bring with them. I still needed time. Nowadays, I was letting myself sink in emotions so much that it was getting unhealthy for me. No matter what I tried to do. Good or bad. I was constantly living in pain. 

I wanted to think if there was some place where I could trade this body or maybe just rewire my brain because I'm still living in pain. 

I was like a daisy, in this storm.


	24. Chapter 24

Today I went to explore. 

The passage Haechan and I went on a walk on, I extend the length of it and came out in the opening of a long broken old wall. It surrounded the whole area I believed. The grass was burnt- the area gave off the vibe of as if something bad might have happened here. Nothing was alive. 

Other than me. 

I jumped through the opening down the surface below and walked further. Every sense of mine was on full alert. The rustling of leaves or even a little bit of odd sound- I was willing to kill, anyone or anything. It felt like hours since I've been walking. Deeper and deeper into this wilderness. Pushing branches out of my way; jumping and ducking, it was getting harder and harder to walk. My vision focused on what was in front of me, and never looking for where I was stepping, my feet slipped. Falling face first. It felt like I just fractured my jaw. Groaning in pain. 

While I was busy, moaning in pain and regretting every second of the journey to here, I heard desperate weeping all of a sudden. Real shivers went through my whole body. Knowing now that I wasn't actually alone in these deep woods and I wondered if I would even make it back alive to the house considering if I get caught. Standing up slowly, my head felt dizzy. Leaning against a tree to keep my balance- I crouched down a bit and peeked through the bushes. I shuddered in fear and dread when I saw a boy run and fall on the rough ground. His hands and face tied up. I had seen him somewhere before, he felt too familiar. 

He screamed and cried for help; moaning in pain and begging for mercy as wild dogs came and shredded him apart. His neck mostly. It wasn't long until he was lying there motionless. I felt like throwing up. I could feel his eyes in my direction. It felt like he was looking through my soul between all these bushes. That light that died out bit by bit. 

I ran away. 

When I entered the shed of the house, my head began to hurt. The things I saw in the past hour- I still couldn't get my head around it. Those screams. That fear in the eyes. I just dropped hard on the surface; my bed and decided to get some sleep. 

It had been more than an hour or so and here I was... still awake. 

A door sliding open and shut with footsteps leading away, I figured it was the kid. I wondered what he has been up to the whole day. Come to think of it I haven't seen him for some time. I'll admit honestly I missed him. 

I asked some workers where he was. But no one knew. 

I followed my only last two hopes; Jaemin or Jeno. One of the two should know where the kid might be. My feet took me to Jeno's room straight away. When I moved my hand to knock the door to his room, he turned the corner of the corridor. 

He raised his brows as he saw an unexpected guest at his door. His face never showed much emotion. 'I was wondering if you might know the kids' whereabouts?' 

He stopped a few feet away from me. Watching me for some weird reasons, I couldn't tell what he was thinking about? Was it about me or the kid overall? In the end, he decided to ignore me and moved to open the door. I was forced to take a step back, making room for him. For a second when he took a step inside and was turning to me, his expression looked shocked as he focused at whatever was behind the door. I wondered what it was? 

'The bathroom-' his voice brought me back to reality '-I saw him going in that direction' I didn't say anything, rather nodded and moved to the said location. 

'You might..' I turned back to him when he raised his voice for me to hear for what he had to say '...think twice before you deal with what you see and the situation overall,' and he closed the door without waiting for my reply. What a jerk. 

When I was about to enter the bathroom, I heard silent cries. Cries as if forcefully being stopped so that no one could hear. Cries, that were actually filled with pain. The scene of Jaemin laying on the floor from a few days back flashed my mind and I panicked. 

I skipped steps and turned the corner fast to see only the back of the person I was looking for. Clothes wet and dirty. He was standing on the opposite side of the water. The steam from the water gave a foggy atmosphere. The moonlight shined inside from the window he was standing in front of. I swallowed the lump in my throat that formed for some reason and began slowly. 

think twice before you deal with what you see and the situation overall

That fucker knew. Was he not planning on telling me about this?

'Haechan...' my voice was barely audible. But he heard- he heard and flinched, turning back towards my direction while taking a step back. At first, I couldn't make out how bad his appearance looked. But when I stepped inside the water and moved to him, those purple wounds on his neck that disappeared in his shirt made my heart skip a beat. 

He shook his head crying, begging me not to come close to him. So I stayed a bit away, giving him his space. I wanted him to trust me. No, I needed him to trust me. 

'Go away!' he screamed, slapping his hand on the water. The splash wasn't enough to force me away but I was surprised with his voice being this loud for the first time. Yet who was I to tell him anything about it? 

I tried again. 'hey... it's just me,' I took a step forward. 

'I don't care...' he muttered. '- I don't care anymore! You promised!' he pointed his finger at me. I grabbed his hand in return and brought it to my face, kissing it. Seconds after, I received a slap. He pulled his hand back and started hitting me. Where was all this coming from? He screamed more and more. But I never stopped him. He needed this. He needed to get all that frustration out of him and this was my only chance to let it happen. 

'Liar!' It started to sting in some areas. But I didn't do anything. Maybe I deserved it. He grabbed my collars and looked me in the eyes finally. Both our chests moving up and down. His chin trembled as he spoke, trying his best not to let the tears that were in his eyes fall down any further. 'I hate you...' 

I glanced down on his neck. Moving my hand up trying to see it all. 'Don't touch me!' 

'Who did this?' those weren't just scars, they were hickeys.

'I won't tell you,' he looked terrible. It wasn't long when I saw a mark on his arm. It was like something made from a needle. 

'Did they give you something?' he was definitely drugged. He spat on my face. My emotions were getting out of hand, as anger finally began to come out of its hiding. I clenched my jaw, trying my best not to say something fucked up. 

'They took turns,' tears rolled down his cheeks as he leaned back a bit and laughed. Why were humans so unfair? What did he ever do to deserve this kind of life? I sniffed and tried to unbutton his shirt again. I wanted to see even though the sight that was in front showed more than enough, I wanted to see how much I had to rip those people apart. 'I called out for you,' he kept talking further. I slid the shirt off from his shoulder and let it float away. 'You left me,' 

I couldn't say anything. I couldn't do anything; I couldn't go to the past and stop this from happening. I was a fool.


	25. Chapter 25

I was fucking tired. The whole day the brat kept on punching and biting me, screaming, crying, it felt like he lost his mind. What kind of drug did they give him? That was the first thing that I wanted these people to ask and break their bones the next.

It was maybe past 12 by now, leaning against the wall opposite the bed of the kid, he finally fell asleep, rubbing my face and stopping my fingers in hair, I dropped my head on my knees that were pulled close to my chest. Not long after I felt tears drop on the wooden floor. I wanted to get out of here.

I wished my mother was here. I had been missing her a lot these days. Her warmth that these cold boards under my feet weren't giving me. Asking me how I was holding up, and maybe I could cry on her shoulder to let it all out. It was all too much now. At first, I felt like I could take care of it all, but now I realized that I was merely a bug in this whole forest. I wiped my nose on my sleeves and leaned my head back, closing my eyes.

I missed her so much.

I wanted to return to the time when she used to wrap her arms around me, taking me in her lap, how her slim fingers ran in my hair as I drifted off to sleep due to the calm beating of her heart. I remembered when she used to tell a story. It was the same one every time before she put me to bed.

'..but what about the story?' I questioned the women who tucked me in bed, running her hand in my hair. Kissing me on the cheek once, forehead, the other cheek, nose which she - booped - afterward. 

I loved her like every child loves their mother, but her oh how much I wanted to tell her that, but I never did. I hated her for that. I hated it how she never even questioned me about my love for her. I was mad at her. All these years. I chucked in my breath, silently crying in the room of a stranger who I thought I knew.

She tackled me, tickling on the soft sheets which she stole from nobody knows where. The shabby old 'house' was filled with mine and her laughter, interrupting the rain outside. 

'Mother!' I wanted her to start the story. By now, I stopped counting as to how many times have I heard it, but at this point, it wasn't even about the story itself. It was her voice. I wanted to hear my mother's voice. She was barely with me during day time, mostly out somewhere to steal food to feed this meaningless five-year-old child, yet nevertheless, I waited for her return every day and night. 'but you must sleep right after my little tiger,' 

I nodded. And before I could vocalize my answer she began the story of the Shepherd once again tonight. I looked up to her as her hair fell on her shoulder, some on her face. I crawled out the sheets slowly, afraid she might scold me, and sat right by her legs, eyes never leaving her face. I held onto her dress and got lost in the storyland which my mother never got tired of telling me about as she covered me around with the sheets in the end. 

'There was a young boy, whose parents wanted him to become a priest, but he had other wishes,' I remember interrupting her every time, asking the same questions, fearing she might get lost in the story and forget I was there by her feet. 

'Wishes?' 

'yes, wishes, minhyung, he wanted to become a shepherd instead, but that would mean he would have to leave his parents and his house behind to do that. But the young boy was afraid to tell such a wish to his father because shepherds are not rich, all they have are their animals. He was the only child of the family and that made him sad even more.'

'Then what did he do, mother?' 

'One morning, he put all his fears aside and decided to tell his father the wish, but to his surprise, his father smiled; you must know that being a shepherd you must travel and leave somethings behind my boy, the father said. The young boy told him about everything he knew, how wanting to travel the different places in this world made him want to become a shepherd in the first place. His father agreed and gave the boy three gold stones that he had saved for his son, asking him to sell them for a flock of sheep.' 

'Did he buy many sheep?' 

'He bought a lot of sheep, baby, he set out on his journey with them, traveling to many cities and places, he remembered each field he had traveled on, every route, he met someone in a small town, someone who he traveled a long distance for to meet once again.' I became shy, I was little. Having to hear about someone one could travel that much for, it was something out of the ordinary for the five-year-old me. I wondered if my mother fell in love with someone too? How? Did her someone travel a long way to meet her too? Did she wait for them? But I didn't speak. Afraid to let the spark In her eyes fade away with my gibberish. 

And she continued, as the night grew, she told me about the young shepherd, how he learned about each person, in hopes of going to great lengths to achieve their destiny, but the shepherd was too naive to understand his. He thought being a shepherd was what he was meant to do. Because without him his sheep couldn't survive. They were dependent on him. Yet in the whole of the day, the flock only cared about the shepherd when he had to give them water and food. He thought that was their destiny. That they were naive just like him, who had no one to guide him in his life. But he was wrong.

'In his long journey, he met an old man one day, who kept on interrupting his daily routine. The young shepherd irritated with him finally gave up and let the man continue, he found out that the man was a king, he told the shepherd about a treasure but its location would be revealed only if he lets him have one-tenth of his sheep. The lad suspicious at first believed the man and the very next day gave him the sheep and sold the rest for his long journey..' 

Mother always complained that she forgot the rest of it. But I never complained about it 'cause in the end, she always had something to say to me. 'You see minhyung,' she took my cheeks in her hands and continued to lesson me 'we meet people in this world every day, most which become part of our lives, some we are willing to give our lives up for, but my dearest baby, even if one day, you're stuck with a decision and its hard to decide, just remember love, if you were in the shepherds' place, sheep at his back and destiny at the front which would you chose? '

My thoughts were interrupted with the kid's whines, so I dragged my feet to him. His eyes were still closed but he was sweating, I got worried. 'Minhyung..' he whispered so softly I wouldn't have caught it if it weren't for me leaning over to touch his forehead. 'hm?' I laid beside him on the bed, sinking my head on his pillow. 'Something happened?' I tried again on which he tried to open his eyes. His lips were dry. He looked pale. The drug as expected let its effects.

He moved his forefinger gently, having no strength closer to my face, sliding it on a tear that was somehow still on my cheek, dragging it over my lips. I felt shivers go down my back. He swallowed, blinking his half-opened eyes slowly. He looked terribly sick. 

'Sing for me, minhyung,' he closed his eyes again, waiting for his request to be fulfilled. I couldn't sing. 

I was a fool for him, so I began.

[on my pillow]

[can't get me tired]

I felt like I was stuck just like the shepherd with his flock. But he was given a choice which he took at once. Leaving them behind. 

And I was given mine. To get it all done and leave this place. 

[sharing my fragile truth]

[that I still hope the door is open]

I had to get out of here. 

[cause the window]

[opened one time with you and me]

I wondered how many times had I told myself this same thing but I never did something about it.

[now my forever's falling down]

[wondering if you'd want me now]

I was afraid. So much.

[how could I know]

[one day I'd wake up feeling more]

What if I asked him to leave with me, unlike the shepherd, he wouldn't want to leave behind his home?

[but I had already reached the shore]

[guess we were ships in the night, night]

But then, was it really a home in the first place? I was confused about what I felt with him. 

[I'm wondering, are you my best friend?] 

[feels like a river's rushing through my mind]

I was a shepherd. And he was the flock, keeping me from moving on. 

[I wanna ask you if this is all just in my head]

I moved my finger over his lips. He looked me in the eyes.

[my heart is pounding tonight, I wonder]

But I was secretly in love with him. 

[if you are too good to be true]

Just like the sheep, he was dependent on me. But it also made me wonder, would he forget about me if I leave? Unlike the sheep, who would be fed the same, would someone be willing to care for him? or will he end up like this every night? 

Nevertheless, I promised myself, I wouldn't sell my sheep. I'd carry him to a new home, where he's in my sight all the time. 

[and would it be alright if I]

[pulled you closer]

In the end, the only thought that terrified me was; will we make it out of here alive? Will our love come true? or was it only from my side willing to sacrifice it all?

[how could I know]

[one day I'd wake up feeling more]

( fell in love with the song ❤️)


	26. Chapter 26

Time after time, I used to do boxing whenever I could. But being in this house, I wasn't expecting much and of course, didn't get much either. So, even if by the skin of one's teeth I got a chance I took it. No matter how late or early.

I wiped my sweat all over and didn't distress myself by wearing a shirt. Planning on taking a shower and going to bed; I slipped the robe on my shoulders, leading my way to my room.

This house has always been quiet. For as long as I remembered it. For as long as I was here at least. The exterior of the house was merely a well... house. If one looks at it from the view of a servant, it was like a palace. Where one could get lost easily. Get dragged to some corner of the house without anyone else knowing. Go crazy. Because once you're in here, it was not feasible to get out in one piece. And even if you did, a part of you always stays here.

Living your 'freedom' life still in the cage of fear that maybe one day, when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in this miserable hole again. Where if you listen closely, you could hear the screams and whimpers. Where if you watch closely, you could over and over again see the purple and blue marks on arms, neck, hip. Where if you pay attention to the small things, you could see the desperation in these little ones' eyes.

But what was even sadder was the little one that was limping on the wall a bit further from where I was. I felt like my heart skipped a beat when I caught a glimpse of him. I could tell from the very glance that he was... raped, again.

I was afraid.

There were nights even I myself couldn't close my eyes, afraid, I'll be dragged to the darkness of this building which not many people saw, or didn't bother looking at cause apparently they were the reason behind it. Reasons' behind these kids here that were laying in beds with stranger's hands all over their bodies. Drugged. Bruised. Crying. Wondering when all of it will end.

When I saw Minhyung about to enter my room, I wanted to punch that guy in the face. Scream at him for letting that happen to the kid. What was he here for? Did he not care? Was he lying all this time?

'I was wondering if you might know about the kids' whereabouts?' So he didn't know. What was he doing even? At one point he wanted to take haechan with him and at the other, he didn't even know about his existence. But I didn't bother talking about it. If he was pretending to be a fool and turn a blind eye than I was a fool for thinking he could bring change to this house on a request I was against in the first place. I had a feeling from the very start it might not go the way we planned but a part of me wanted to keep even a little bit of hope into the light. If it meant haechan would make it out alive, I was willing to go at any length necessary.

Even with all this happening, one thing I was least expecting to happen was someone else to be behind the door I opened to enter. So I tried to get Minhyung away which of course the guy wasn't even planning on standing there for long in the first place.

Sliding the door shut, I never moved from where I stood. Gaze fixed on the person opposite me. I raised a brow when he didn't bother saying anything or to explain his visit. So I made a move first. As always.

'What brings you here?' I whispered leaning close to his ear, hand resting on his hip. Jaemin pushed me back with one hand on my bare chest. I was irritated by this behavior of his. First, he approached me, then pretended to not care. I grabbed his wrist.

'Jeno..' yanking it away. I passed him, sitting on the edge of the bed. I was tired.

'As always, right here,' I wanted to let him know that no matter how much he pushed me away, turn a blind eye on my every move I was here, in the end, to listen to whatever he had to say to me. Because clearly, whatever happens, he was always in a more dangerous position than me.

I was the one who started this. I wasn't going to let this go just like that. 

'That man... he came again,' it was hard for him to talk about this topic so I kept quiet. 'I think he isn't planning on leaving this time without the contract signed' 

I clenched my jaw, fingers intertwined, head low, eyes on the floor. I couldn't look him in the eye. I felt ashamed as if this was my fault. 'So he'll-'

'Buy me? Yes, most likely,'

'Don't say that, as if you want it to happen,' 

'Jeno, do you really think I want that to happen? It's not like that place will be any better but I feel like if you look on the bright side at least I'll get out of here alive huh,'

'Bright side? Don't make me laugh,' this idiot if only you knew that place could get worse than this 'There won't be anyone there to save you from those motherfuckers, you fool,' 

'I know that's why I'm here to thank you,' 

'Don't... just don't go,'

'Minhyung... Is he going to get Master Haechan out?' 

I looked at him suspiciously 'Where did you hear that?' 

'I might have been in the room when you two came but I promise.. this is the first time I've mentioned it,' At least he doesn't know that I've met that guy before too. Even though he didn't tell anyone, they could force the talk out of him. 'You know, even though they all are disgusted and stuff I really hope he gets out,' 

'Who? Minhyung?'

'Master haechan, it's not like he ever did anything to me and either way, he gets treated the same as all of us and the saddest part of it is that his father doesn't even care about it, don't you think so too?' 

'Yeah, I know that pretty well.'

'I really hope he gets out of here soon,'

'Yet coming back to the topic, you're just making me look like a fool here you know that too right?'

'I don't have a saying in this, sire,'

I hated it when he said that to me. It felt like he was highlighting the line between us even more which I have been avoiding for a really long time. 

'Don't-' I got up fast, now standing inches from his face. '-fucking say that to me,'

We both kept quiet. I admired his features closely. He wasn't one to let me get close to him so I took every chance I got. It was the same situation every time. 

'Kiss me,' he whispered, touching my lips slightly with his. I felt shivers go down my spine. Taking his tongue out, he licked my lips. I was fucking going insane. Before I would regret it. I pulled him closer by his waist and kissed him. The boy moaned instantly, sliding my robe off my shoulders. He pushed me away... again. 

On the bed. I fell on the soft surface, rising on my arms as he climbed up on me. I took his lower lip between my teeth, pulling it slightly as his fingers traveled on my chest. 'Guess I just... fell for you huh?' the corner of my lips turned up as he chuckled right on my face. It had been a while since I last saw that smile. As time passed, I ripped off his clothes. Switching our position around. 

I was willing to go to great lengths to keep this boy happy. For him to just spend one day, not in some faggots claws. I wanted to kiss every inch of him and remind him of this moment that was happening. I was happy. Today, I was really happy. 

Enough to actually give my all to the request of haechan's mother. 

The moans that I heard took me out of this world. Every passing second was a bliss. 

Only if I had known that he wasn't planning on leaving with that man if he couldn't stay here, at least not alive.


	27. Chapter 27

The slow breeze in the evening with someone that you are head over heels for, now that's how every day should be.

Or at least I thought. 

I wanted to see his smile. Run in a field of sunflowers with him. Look at the clouds with him. His shy gestures, those innocent peeks he gave while we had breakfast together thinking I never knew about it all. I wanted all that. 

But there are some things in life, no matter how much one wants it, no matter how far you've crawl out of hell, no matter for who you have given your soul to the devil for, some things... never happen. 

Some people aren't just meant to be together. And even if they are, either they're tested so much that in the end, even if love is just at the corner they give up. They give it all up. Everything they have worked so hard for, all this time, it was for nothing. 

There are times when at the start, you're not actually in it for love, you fall on the way. Maybe trip on the sidewalk once or twice that in the end, you actually do fall. And the one you expect to catch you is right there, beside you, laughing at you. But it's not anything bad. Because you love that smile.

You love it enough to sometimes put your feelings aside for the other. 

But that last part,

How does one explain it to someone, who's on their knees, wounded, wailing, screaming, bleeding, in pain, begging you not to do so? 

How does one explain? 

How?

Because I couldn't. 

I couldn't so I just walked away. Like a miserable fool does for money. Like me who did it for just some mire paper; money in his eyes.


	28. Chapter 28

'Minhyung! Minhyung! No, no, please... minhyung.... you promised,' Fuck.

I had to leave.

I have to.

Only if I could make him understand.

Haechan begged, getting up from the bed, yet never having the strength. I still couldn't get my head around the fact that how they managed to drug him with something so strong. Now standing at the foot of the bed, as I leaned down, his fingers clasped on my collars.

I wondered if he'll be able to grow up into a fine man one day. If...

'You must take care of yourself,' I placed my lips between his brows, kissing him gently, as I cupped his face. He closed his eyes at contact, chin trembling. He exhaled hard, tightening his grip on the fabric of my shirt.

'...no,' he shook his head in denial. Cheeks getting covered with tears...again. I couldn't just tell him the situation I was in either.

I smiled, 'What do you mean no? You'll get really really sick if you don't buddy,' I notified softly, rubbing my nose with his, but of course, he knew that already. With everything going on, he never loosened his grip on my shirt for a second, I had to stay leaned down for a while, by now my back felt like it would break.

'Kiss me,' I was taken aback for a second, so I shifted my gaze on him fast. Oh how much I wanted to. I wanted to do it without a second thought. I wanted to kiss him every day and night, every inch of him, have him naked under me, let him know that he did not deserve all this. But I couldn't. Because if I did, what would happen to both of us afterward would make me regret doing it in the first place. And I never wanted to regret kissing him. Ever.

I didn't move. I just kept my eyes locked with his. Sliding my thumb on his lower lip, I felt my heartbeat picking up. Taking in a deep breath I let go of him and stood up.

'Promise me you'll take care of yourself,'

It was as if on cue, more tears left his eyes one after the other, as he shook his head crawl forward and getting off the bed slowly. I didn't have time. I had to leave before Katsu found any other reason to get rid of him too. I promised my self that I won't forget about him. That I'll come back and take him with me. When I have enough power. Because right now I was entirely a servant, brought here for reasons I was ashamed of. He screamed falling on his knees.

'Minhyung! No!' he could only just breathe properly. I knew if I had a sight of the kid I won't be able to get a hold of my self.

Right now one thing that was the most important in my eyes and of course Katsu's, it was me leaving. I had to persuade him into thinking that everything was fine.

'You liar!' he kept screaming with all his might. I stepped out of the room with my suitcase, having my way blocked by Jeno.

He was surprised. Breathing hard and sweating. He must've run here. I tightened my grip on my luggage. I was afraid to confront him. So I tried my best not to make eye contact with him.

'You're leaving?' there was disappointment in his tone. I wasn't surprised. He had every right.

'Yes,'

'Why?' he didn't take a second to respond. He forced me against the wall when I tried to pass by him.

'Jeno, don't make this harder than it already is,' I kept my voice low. Essentially, I was the bad guy currently. He scoffed, clenching his jaw right after.

'You son of a bitch,' he greeted through his teeth. 'What did he offer you? huh?'

'Don't-'

'Tell ME!!!' He screamed. I hadn't seen him like that. Hell, I've never heard his voice louder than the kids. He was really hurt. When I didn't answer him, he turned his face away. Figuring out a way to make me open my mouth.

He grabbed the bag abruptly, forcing the zipper open. I was done for. He laughed, punching me hard. The move was so sudden I moved with the direction of my body and dropped on the floor. 'You're more filthy than the things that come here to rape these kids,'

Haechan looked at the bag than at me. 'Seriously!? This is what got you? Huh? Money!?'

'I'm sorry...' I was helpless. I regretted it. I did it all for these guys.

He kicked me in my stomach. Making me gag. I hissed at the pain. But I didn't have enough time to process what happened when he punched me again and again. Was this how I would have been treated if I hadn't come here with Kim? Like a worthless piece of a dirtbag.

When Jeno stopped his hell, I tried hard to get back up on my feet with the help of the wall. Of course, he wasn't going to help. I had to manage myself.

'... you know how we deal things here? I try my best to stay away from making such a big mess. Regarding you, well, if it wasn't for that man you came with, I would've killed you myself till now and bury you in the woods with all the others. Or maybe would you like to be fed to the dogs?' I never replied to him. 

'I will give you only tonight, make a decision by tomorrow morning and leave quietly. If you do,' he turned around this time facing me 'I'll be nice enough to not sell Haechan to the dealer. You see, everyone is really interested to get their hands on him, and the price they are putting on the table is making my mouth water, but if you do plan on staying I might change my mind, and well like I said get rid of him.'

When I stepped off the last step of the porch, I heard a painful scream coming from behind me.

'Hyungie!' the kid begged.

I limped my way through the dirt towards the gate. Towards the door, that viewed everything to me from afar, but the darkness of that night kept everything hidden underneath its veil.

'Minhyung!' he shrieked again. I could hear everything and made an imaginary picture in my mind of his crying face.

My luggage dragging behind me.

The burden I felt of the bag in my left hand was the heaviest. Even though it wasn't physically, but mentally.

'Liar!' yelled.

My first step outside of the gate, I finally had the guts to turn back, as I did, the door closed on my face first before letting me have a peek of everything.

Leaving the image of his face in my memories.

His features.

Laughs.

Bratty behavior.

I was going to miss him a lot.


	29. Chapter 29

The journey back home was for miles.

As I sat on the dirt road of the town, Kim and I crossed to reach the house, I looked nothing less like someone kicked out of their house. But that was exactly the case for it.

The exchange of coins and change of money for something that could temporarily fill out one's need for hunger. I watched people cross each other, aware of their presence but ignoring it at the same time.

I watched the bodies pass by me, hoping to pass their day to the end in search of food. I looked a lot miserable than half of these people. The looks I got from them confirmed my odd thinking. I wondered how fast these humans can turn into dogs if they find out about the money I had with me. I just wanted to go home without having to make the effort for it.

Home- did I even had one?

I wondered if auntie would let me come back? But the question was did I want to go back to that miserable life? But life here wasn't any better either. I did not understand myself, as to what I was hoping for.

I was more lost than a traveler because even he has a destination in mind at one point or another, unlike me.

At this moment, I had to question myself, what did I lose here? Will it be worth the effort to gain it back? But I had to remind myself that if I did something it would be all out of pure affection to the kid. Because now, I was willing to accept that part, that a part of me eventually did get left behind. I wanted to ask myself the question of- how or what do I do to gain it back?- nevertheless, I could do that later.

Right now, my mind was interrupted by the thoughts of getting out of this place before the storm. The literal storm. The clouds above exposed what were they about to bring due to their color.

In the end, however, I spent the evening in some hotel, waiting for it all to pass.

My mind was oozing with thoughts, and something I could only describe by relating to the storm outside. The lightning illuminating the room, the thunder. Just like myself, even nature wanted to scream. Scream at these humans for not giving one a rest. In the room of this shabby hotel, I realized that I had lost something I didn't think I even found.

The thought of the kid, being left alone in reach of that man's arm had me going crazy in this silence.

It was like when the story ends, only then we begin to feel it all.


	30. Chapter 30

In life, people tend to take power over everything they can. If you don't make a decision for yourself, others do it for you. Life teaches you everything one can possibly need. And for survival, you must learn to fight for yourself, even with the ones you love.

At times, even if you have the confidence to stand up for yourself, there is always once to bring you down.

Money.

For people like Master Katsu, money is the power, strength, and everything to bring someone to their knees. Even to his own son. I was ashamed, for having such words leave my mouth. This disgusting dog did not even deserve to be called a father, husband, or even close to human. To remove such filth from the face of this world, I needed what he didn't have.

A plan.

Because for a mere servant like me- in ripped clothes, bruised mind and body, and never having enough to eat- I needed more than just that. I needed the boy who stood on the porch on the house, gaze fixed on the brutal event taking place in front of the gate.

Five minutes...

It had been only five minutes, and I'm sure everyone felt like I did. It was as if our last hope in survival, just walked out those doors. When the guards gripped his hair and dragged him back to the house, I closed my eyes. Master Haechan kept screaming. Crying. Begging for Minhyung. Like all of us, he knew what will happen. How much longer will all of us be able to take this...

Nature itself was quiet, witnessing it all in hiding. Can someone bear the violence as long as it's not done to them? I was going crazy in this household. The screams... they never stopped. It was either me doing it or someone else. 

The guards held the arms of the boy, as Master Katsu held on to his hair, pull it so he would look him in the eye. He slapped him hard. 

'You dare behave like this?' he spat. 

Slapping again. Each time grabbing his hair to turn his face back to him and slapped again. 

'You dare act like a filthy street dog in my house!' master haechan jolted to the other side because of the slap. Reaching his hand out to grip on to the material of the one doing the dirty deed to him. 

The guards were ordered to hold him in place, threatened about the same done to them, and he continued. Hand covered in blood. Each sound of the slap echoed, even in the open space. No one dared to move a muscle. No one dared to lift an eye. The boy was now choking on his own blood, not having any strength to even hold himself on his knees anymore. If it wasn't for the grip on his arms, he would've been laying in the dirt a while back. 

In the end, however, he gripped his hair between his fingers, pulling him to the porch. Dragging him all the way inside his own lounge. No one ever dared to go there. It was never set in limits. 

But to this very grass underneath my feet, which I stood on, we all stood on, the screams could be heard. 

Each time the whip hit the skin, he screamed more and more.

The piece of bread I managed to eat today, swirled in my stomach, making me gag. I covered my mouth, clenching my fingers tight, yet I couldn't hold it in. So, I ran to the bushes near and threw out the only food that I could put in my stomach. 

Everyone left. Having the plans of avoiding any glimpse of themselves till late evening to the Master. 

When I got on my feet, to the direction of the house, Jeno was no longer there. My vision froze on the gate, far away, from where I stood. And even though no one was here to stop me from running out, the conditions afterward of me getting caught scared me more. I could no longer do this. 

The hard and smooth surface of the wooden chair underneath my feet felt cold. I was alone in the room. Not mine. Cheeks covered with tears, which I never bothered wiping. There was no point in doing it. I choked on a sob, not knowing what I was crying for, as I clenched my fingers on the rope around my neck. 

This life? Was I crying for the life I lived? Or for the one I couldn't? 

Who cares...

Closing my eyes, I inhaled, exhaling slowly. Without having any other thought, I pushed the chair hard, hanging myself to death. 

Forgive me.

[in case anybody is confused, this was Jaemins POV]


	31. Chapter 31

Violence.

There are people in life against it and surprisingly enough those who find amusement in other's misery. And there are those who are forced to watch it. Violence in this house wasn't anything new. Yet, it equally sent chills to my body whenever it happened. In this crowd of servants under me, I felt powerless.

Amongst this crowd was a boy who had my heart. Did I had the right to say it aloud? No. I couldn't even keep him safe, let alone, get him out of here. I was afraid. These people will chase after us to death if we ever planned on running away. Afraid that someone other than myself might become prey to such violence taking place.

When uncle gripped haechan's hair and dragged him up the porch, inside. I knew he would come looking for me. I was ashamed to admit to him, that I couldn't do anything. That the hope Lee Minhyung put in his heart wasn't real. That I couldn't guarantee the safety of the boy who I daydreamed about living together with. Jaemin.

A coward, running away, hiding.

I was falling into this hole, which I was afraid to name out loud.

Love.

I was falling slowly, like petals of roses, the color so vibrant and deep like blood.

Like snow, that falls ever so lightly, covering everything underneath. Hiding sins. Hushing the world quiet without saying anything.

Like the teardrops covering my cheeks without permission. Watching the boy, I loved, hanging from the ceiling, in my room ever so pale.

Like the stars, and tides.

Like shadows and time, that hid more in this house that one could count on their fingers.

Like the leaves of my flower, in the sun.

Like me, on my knees.

I had always tried to stay away from the monster in this house. Hiding in the silk given to me yet I was forced to become one as well.

I did not want his power.

I did not want his money.

No holy water could keep him safe.

I was going to burn his kingdom to the ground.

[Can you guess who’s POV is it this time? Also forgive me for not updating I completely forgot about it haha p.s I got engaged yesterday so yeah a little present. xD]


	32. Chapter 32

Those who escape from hell however never talk about it and nothing much bothers them after

I wanted to think that.

I wanted to think that... but I couldn't.

The sky was filled with black thundering clouds. Rain poured over me, as I dragged my feet in the mud of the street, of the ever-familiar town. Everything felt like it was angry at me. The pain; physically and mentally. My wounds on the face burned as each drop of rain slid over it, yet I couldn't dwell on it as my mind was oozing with hatred. For everything. For myself. For what I had to go through. For what he had to go through. I was not at fault, I couldn't possibly be, right? I asked no one around, lifting my eyes off my feet to the surrounding.

No matter how much I try to hide my feelings, regarding that place as hell, torturous, disgusting, what better was the place which I stood in front of now? No matter how much I try avoiding the talk of the past month, it can't possibly stop bothering me. I knew that. I knew what I left behind. I knew that if I didn't, something much worse could've happened. Not to me. Haechan. But who would believe me?

I leaned my hand on the door, trying to keep steady, the cold must've gotten to my head already. 

Sliding my fingers off the rotten wood door, banging it once, twice. Shuffling could be heard on the other side, and soon the door opened, revealing the woman I dreaded all my life. Now, she was merely just flesh and bones with a bitchy attitude that I could rip to pieces without any problem. I noticed the confusion and fear in her eyes when she saw me. I liked to think it was because I was there without any notice, not because of the blood I had on my clothes and the bruises all over my face. When no response was heard I stepped forward, the woman gave way immediately, never questioning anything. Maybe she finally started to use her brain before her mouth.

The wood underneath my feet felt different. I took a deep breath, trying to keep calm, lately, I've been having this keen urge to just cry. I wonder if I was meant to be happy in life? Why did I not deserve love? Keeping my eyes focused on the stairs, where my room was, I wondered if any of these motherfucker had laid a finger on my belongings. I was ready to rip them off their hands. Turning my neck to the right, the little bitch and the two assholes stood there, confused as ever. I scoffed, even watching them for a few seconds made me sick.

'Pathetic,' I muttered my first word in this house again, yet loud enough for them to hear. It would be better to keep them in place now than deal with their shit later. This time, I turned my body to the side, two steps forward, leaving the luggage at the bottom of the stairs, eyes fixed on the only bitch that liked to mess with me before, I stopped not too far away from her, I reached out my hand covered in my own dried blood somehow. I didn't know myself how it managed to get there, but I noticed it when banging the door. She glanced at my hand and back at my face wondering what I was doing.

'What the fuck is wrong with you, did you get your brain screwed or something?' she took a step back.

I smiled, not at all, just a little fun in murder and torture.

It was odd. I kept thinking about how I wasn't afraid to cut these fucking cunts to pieces anymore. I glanced back to auntie in the doorway, when I saw her before I felt my heartbeat pick up, at first for a second I thought I was scared to come back here, but I was just excited how I actually didn't feel any kind of fear anymore. In fact, I felt great. Running my tongue on my lower lip, I figured something did screw my brain after all.

'Dinner-' auntie interrupted the silence in the room, '-would you.... would you like to have it with us?' Did she wrap her arms around her as if trying to keep herself safe, from me? The woman asked the question, failing terribly at the effort of smiling while doing so. I only saw her face twitch as if she was afraid.

Magnificent.

Just the fear I wanted to let crawl inside their tiny pathetic hearts. I would understand them because that's exactly how I felt when I first met Katsu. I understood how that man felt when he saw fear in all those people's eyes, that delicious feeling of inferiority. I indeed felt great.

'No,' I smiled, walking past her to the luggage, 'I'll see you at breakfast,' I climbed up the stairs to my ever precious room in the attic.

•••  
in my head, the chapter felt longer  
I wanted to give a different vibe this time but I don’t think it worked. I’m updating one chapter at a time now because I have written till 34 yet on wattpad. Work has been killing me.


	33. Chapter 33

Laughter.

The kind that made my heart skip a beat. 

Physical contact. 

Someone climbed on top of me. 

Giggles. 

I opened my eyes to the ever bright room by the morning sunlight. The kind that doesn't annoy you when you wake up. The kind that's just there; lighting the room. Or anything you plan on looking at when you set your gaze on it. Or them. 

I blinked the blurriness out of my eyes, adjusting to the change of brightness. 

Ruffling.

Someone hiding behind the sheets they threw on themselves. 

Fetched my knees up, pushing them from the back with the help of my hips as they sat on my pelvis. 

The sheet now over me, head under the white ruffles. 

They.

No...

He.

He slid the cover off my face ever so slightly, smile widening as he came in view. 

Haechan. 

My delicate boy in white. 

Both hands on the soft surface of the fluffy pillows each side of my head. I tried to touch him, to see if he's real, just to make sure that he's alive. I realized I couldn't. I couldn't move my hands. I turned to the side, glaring at my hands tied to the bed, then back to him on top of me. 

The warmth of his skin directly felt with mine. Was he not wearing anything? 

He noticed my struggle to get free and leaned down, lips over mine, inches apart. When he spoke, I felt the softness on mine. 

'I got you, hyungie,' referred to my tied hands, laughing, he sat back up. His white shirt barely on him due to the one-button. 'You're mine,' he whispered, running his finger over my lower lip. I kissed it. 

Leaned right over me this time. Laying on top, elbows kept nicely on the sheets above my shoulders. When our eyes made contact, the corner of his lips moved up even further as if it was possible. 

His feet rubbing against mine, as I did not protest being so vulnerable right now. 'Hi,' he whispered, so the mountains and skies do not get jealous. 

'Hi, baby,' I gulped the lump in my throat, muttering the first words. 

For a while silence enveloped between us, only the morning birds, his breath on my neck interrupted. I wished for a miracle to set my hands free, every ounce of my body wanted to just have him sit astride me, arms wrapped around my neck, mine around his waist, pressing his body against mine, skin on skin, lips on his neck, enjoying the signs of pleasure that left his lips after each bite, each suck, each lick, and each kiss.

That's when it hit me. 

This wasn't real.

This couldn't be.

I left him. 

I left him there; wounded, hurt, and broken. 

'Minhyung?' he spoke again. 

'You're not real,' I saw the glimpse of light die down in his eyes, frown taking upon his face, as he sat back up, this time on the side of the bed.

Bang, bang, bang. 

The door shook by force. We both flinched. 

'here comes daddy,' deep, rusty voice spoke from the other side. 

Bang, bang, bang...

This time it kept continuing with the blows. 

'Hyungie,' haechan scooted closer, knees fetching up in his arms. Chin trembling. 

'Baby,' I felt my voice shake 'you gotta untie my hands,' 

Haechan shook his head, fingers clenched his hair. Before I had another chance to speak, the door flew open, the darkness crawled hungrily, taking over the light. Seconds later it surrounded us from everywhere. 

Haechan screamed. 

I turned to him, hands reached out the black emptiness, holding each limb of his body. 'Minhyung,' he muttered, afraid.

His white shirt covered with oozing black stuff, 'Minhyung!' he screamed one last time before it took him in it. 

'No! Haechan!'

I woke up. 

Bangs on the door receiving my attention, I launched towards it, opening it wide, only to come face-to-face with Hana. Aunties daughter. 

I was still lost in thoughts as to what I just dreamt about that I physically shuddered when she spoke. 'Dinner,' she pointed to the stairs with her thumb fingers clenched, 'Dinners ready,'

I nodded, shooing her away, still trying to get my head around what happened. 

Did something bad happen to him? 

Whose voice was that? 

here comes daddy-

Katsu?


	34. Chapter 34

One week after my return as a servant who had committed sins-

rape and murder.

I disappeared.

[six months later]

Life teaches you a lot of lessons; physically, mentally.

Some in ways of rich and poor.

Others with hunger.

Money.

Health.

and freedom as a human being, generally.

Ever since my return to town, I have been thinking and thinking. Lost in the sea of thoughts. It's funny even, to think that we control ourselves yet it's not what actually happens. The feelings we have, noticing similar things, that's what controls us. The sight of someone eating forces us to eat. And now, after six whole months away from him, here I was still wondering about him. How he was? Where he was?

I took a matchbox, lighting it under the cigarette between my lips. I closed my eyelids, inhaling a great breath, feeling my lungs burn, turning into a tar most likely pushing me closer to death, yet it made me feel calmer. I huffed out a cloud of smoke, forcing the death upon the things surrounding me.

Six months.

I asked myself the question of- how would I explain myself to him?- each day.

He was in my every breath.

Every look in the mirror.

Every second glance I got, focusing on the scar on my face. It was the deed done to me, which I deserved.

What was I supposed to say to him, to ask for his forgiveness?

Forgive me, I was a thirsty dog at that time for money that I left you to suffer? Should I get on my knees? Or do I just stay silent, and let the kid enjoy the reward I stumbled upon on?

Kid.

I smiled slightly.

I missed calling him that. 

But the truth was, I never ran away from there because of money, I was forced to do so. Katsu would've gotten his hands on him, if not for me leaving. There was no other choice.

The wood under my feet creaked as I climbed up the stairs to my room. It had been a while that I was here. In this house.

The surface of the wooden door under my fingers reminded me of how far I had come. I pushed it all the way, stepping inside the room. Furniture covered with white sheets. The dirt had made its home as I was gone.

How far can someone who served as a servant come? How can they do it in the first place?

Money.

Anything is possible with money.

The money he gave to get rid of me, I'll now use it against him. A poor, filthy dog, lusting for money that left that place, will use it all against that man. That guy, that disgusting filth walking on the surface of earth no one knows about. Yet their children- loved one is screaming in pain, in his bed. Because of his men. Because of him.

I wanted to skin that man alive.

Give each victim a chance to do it. Those who suffered because of him.

In this world, its always like that. Some leave, others take their place.

I slid my fingers on the table, feeling the dirt on the rough edges of my fingertip. Some things were missing, I wanted to have a word about it but at the moment, for the last time, I came to get what I thought was important.

I stood by the only window in the room, lighting my already second cigarette in this house. 

'Where have you been, Minhyung?' Auntie sneaked up behind me, voice sore. 

My absence for six months without any word must've given these people images not to be imagined. I turned around, her wrinkly face reflecting in my eyes. She looked weak. Old. Dark circles under her eyes deepened than the last time. I felt bad for her. 

Sleep must've not come for a while to her, for her to end up looking like this. Even though I had a hatred for her in my heart, she was still the one who raised me. Gave me food on my plate. 

Silence filled the air as I never opened my mouth to answer her question, yet, still kept the eye contact. Internally, I was having a great war with myself to keep my anger suppressed and not bark at her for touching my things without permission and still having the guts to step in here. 

I smiled. Breaking eye contact first, circling around the table. I inhaled what was left of the cigarette between my fingers, crushing the remaining bud underneath the heel of my shoe. 

'Do you have nothing to say to me, boy?' woman muttered again, irritated. 

I shook my head, looking up at her from our feet. 'Nothing,' I was not here for this, for her, for anyone in this house. I was never going to return here either. This was the final goodbye to these thieves. Especially after the news of uncle's death. I heard he was beaten to death by some men during a robbery gone wrong. I didn't blame them, it was originally his fault. One thing that amused me was to see if this event will awaken anything in their minds to give up such a pathetic attempt at living. 'My condolence for uncle,' I had nothing else to say to her. It didn't matter to me if she had any to say to me either. I wasn't her son. She wasn't my mother. She never treated me right for me to pity her condition. Even though deep in my heart, a slight bit, she did. Auntie looked like mother a lot. Hence, I hated her even more for it. She was giving me a bad image of the woman who gave birth to me. 

I hated her for that. 

I stepped closer to the door, getting down on my knees, fingers looking for a slight unevenness in the floorboard. Pulling the false board out, I put my hand inside. Auntie was peeking over my shoulder, eyes filled with curiosity. When my fingers touched a hard material, the anger that I had at peek faded away. I was going to slit these people's throats if they had touched what I hid dearly. It was the last part, pushing me to the success of what I was about to achieve. 

Putting the first bundle of cash after cash, I heard the woman whimper. Not believing her eyes as to what she was witnessing. The very soul she had wanted to get rid of all her life to think her family will survive only than, was now pulling the victory card. 

I filled the bag I brought with me, placing the missing board, bag of the shoulder, I got up. Her cheeks drenched in tears. She shook her head in disbelief. 

'What have you been up to, Minhyung?' stepping closer, she gripped the fancy material I was wearing between her slim fingers 'Who gave you this money? huh? Did you do something bad?' 

I wondered if the bad she was referring to was the image of money in front of her or the fact that now I did not look like someone who belonged in a place like this, wearing the luxury clothing, hair back, face clean for once. 

'Do not be delusional,' I placed my hands over her own 'I'm not the only bad guy,' whispered. She stepped back in horror. 

The reason I was referring to myself as the bad guy was because I felt guilty about the sins I committed. 

I reached into the bag, throwing a bundle to her. 'Take care of yourself. Leave this town. Start somewhere new, give this shit up, at last, don't die with regret. You already look like you have your legs halfway in the grave,' I stepped out the room. I got what I came for. I couldn't waste any more time here. 

Jeno stood at the bottom of the stairs. Hana right by his side. The guy looked like he could kill any second. 'Fucking leave already,' gritted his teeth. 

'We're done here,' 

Placing the bag on the seat, I slouched in the next one and closed the car door behind me. We still had one more thing to deal with. 

'Stop staring at him,' I muttered, loud enough for the guy to hear, who was looking towards the house- someone specific- like a dog at the sight of a piece of meat. But his gaze at the moment was a little kinder. Jeno looked at me this time, eyes pleading 'don't look at me like that either,'

'I-'

'10 mins. You have 10 mins to make whatever decision you have to make,' the boy nodded, running inside. 

I closed eyes, coming back to the image of the only boy ever on my mind. 

My boy. 

Without realizing, I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to the sound of the car door closing. One on the passenger seat, the other on the driver's seat. He looked back at me 'Sorry,' 

Sorry for waking me up? Sorry for coming along? I wondered which one it was.

'So Jeno, what amused you in my aunties boy, Renjun?' 

'Shut your mouth or you'll end up like Kim,'

'Don't make him end up like Jaemin either,' 

[this is the last chapter, for now. I haven’t written further yet. I’ll come back when I do write]


	35. Chapter 35

In this world, there are two killers.

Those who kill for fun, for pleasure, to calm their inner demons. For them, the screams and cries of their victims are like music. Either listen to it in full or shove something in their throats to shut them up. Gut their organs out or cut a limb each day. Let it end at once or keep it alive for a certain more time. Use a random object as your weapon or keep some special tools for your amusement. Have some mental pleasure or physical. 

It's all fun and games. 

And the other, they kill. They definitely are a killer, but would you consider them one if they help you get rid of your problems? What if they gut out the person who you had fallen victim of? In your eyes, which one is the killer now? 

One was your doom and the other your survival. 

Yet the number of killers remains the same. All that rage will affect someone one day, either yourself or another. 

I didn't want that to happen. Or let it happen. I figured I won't end up like those scums. But I wondered if killing Kim made me one or not. I didn't want to believe in it. Deep down a part of me knew murder was wrong, yet the world was only finding the benefit of one ruined soul off its surface. And that pushed me forward of getting rid of every other. 

The darkness swallowed us whole; it was like deja vu. 

Everything reminded me of my visit to the house for the very first time. The car ride to the luxurious living room. It made me wondered how much I had grown considering those luxuries didn't seem as amazing this time. 

The closer we got to Katsu's residence, the road kept getting terrible. None of us had talked, Renjun groaned annoyed once in a while because of the bumpy car ride. 

I was eager to step into that place again, eager to see what kind of face Katsu will make. I was eager to meet the kid again. I missed him. Even more than it seemed but he was on my mind. I was going to rip anyone apart this time who stepped in my way. 

The only reason I was suddenly this confident could most probably be because of the armed support we had. 

If all went well, the plan might work out. 

////

50 years.

I had been alive for almost 50 years and most of my life; I dwelled on putting a roof over these pathetic scums that dared ruin my day. Today, I had to make one pay for others to learn. 

Once, just once, I wished to have my lunch peacefully and they dare not make things right. I felt anger boil up inside me. 

As I stepped inside the kitchen, all eyes were on me, as they should be. Eyes filled with fear, regret. They knew something was wrong, I never step inside this filthy place filled with sweaty bodies myself. My gaze shifted from one corner to another, stopping on each head for a second. 

'Who made it?' questioned the overly salted fish set on the lunch table. Yet no one dared to answer.

'Who did it?' spoke again through greeted teeth. This time, clenching fingers on the nearest person's hair. She cried out.

'I did it! It was me,' stepped to the front. I eyed her from head to toe, of course. She dropped to her knees, holding feet with hands. 'Please, it wasn't anyone's fault.' 

I laughed. How pathetic and dragged her out by the hair. That was the last time she stepped inside that kitchen and the entire house itself. 

*first time with Katsu's POV, what do you think?   
i know its not enough for a chapter so forgive me*


	36. Chapter 36

Katsu.

The owner of the largest sexual trading business in the upper north.

The man had sold and bought more human lives than food for his own son. In the town, no one dared to lift a finger against the man.  
Pathetic.

Disgusting.

No good slob.

That's what he would title them with.

His dry lips wrapped around the cigar, inhaling the death stick as the man enjoyed comfortably the view in front.  
The room filled with cries and laughs.  
How you may ask?

Cries from the kid tied up on the table.  
Laughs from the naked old men around him. Each waiting for turns.

'I would like the next turn,' muttered the man sitting next in Katsu's ear 'my wife might wait for me at home,' his tone of voice low, as he spoke out his mind yet being careful with words to not upset the owner. That's what it meant with all this to be about. Pleasing each other. Taking advantage.

'Then you should hurry back,' Katsu replied, never bothering to spare the man a glance. The change of expressions on the man's face going unnoticed. He sat up straight. 'why not go fuck her instead, does she not please you enough?'

The other cleared his throat, not expecting such a statement. If it were anyone else barking such words about his wife, he would've stripped them naked and fed them to the dogs, but here… having such thoughts even could leave them to their deaths.

'I can cut your dick off if you have problem waiting...' Katsu spoke further, eyeing the small silver knife in his hands.

The bald old man stood up, panicking. He bowed and uttered apologies he did not mean, begging to the man sitting without a bother on the sofa to spare his life. Katsu sighed, getting up. He tied his robe and passed through all the lustful dogs, drooling at the view of meat out the door to his room. 

A whip or two isn't as bad, if it's not done on you, yeah?

The empty room underground, the structure of the residence echoed with screams filled with pain and dread. Katsu held his hand over his head, fingers tightened around the pommel. Each whip hitting the skin of the boy tied up, thrown on the ground. His feet injured after countless blows. Face pressed to the rough pavement. Trying to catch a breath. 

Katsu stood straight, watching his own son; Lee Haechan whimper like a dog. 

He kicks him in the stomach. 

Once.

Twice.

Each time the dark room echoes with muffled screams.

Each time it's harder for anything to pass the boy's throat. 

Blood. He chokes on it. He mumbles something. 

This time, Katsu stops. Squatting down, he grabs a hand full of hair forcing him up, the other grabbing his face. Nails digging into his skin. The man licks his lips. Laughing. 

'Now, tell me what you learnt,' 

Haechan swallows the hard lump in his throat, 'Never speak... unless given permission,' he inhales a hard breath, continuing. 'Do not fight back when being punished. Never beg unless it's you-'

'Me?' Katsu cuts between. 

'...Dad. Never beg unless it's for daddy. Let daddy use me however he pleases. Never leave daddy alone...'

Katsu taps his cheek twice, muttering a good boy. 'Now the truth?'

Tears escape Haechan's eyes. 'No one is looking for me. No one wants to find me.

If I try to leave, I will die.

If I'm punished, it's because I deserved it. 

My body is not my own. Nothing belongs to me. Never will.

If I'm good, daddy will be happy.

And... I want him to be happy,' 

'Good boy,' Katsu stands up, clapping. The poor boy drops, hissing in return. He takes out his silver blade, cuts open the boy's hands tied at the back. 'Now, since you learnt your lesson, I'll leave you alone for the night,'

Lee Haechan, the poor little soul feels a shiver go through his entire body at the words. It terrifies him, not wanting to be alone. The room has no space for any light to crawl inside. Only the pavement to lie on. The hard icy surface reminds him of the painful night. His stomach rumbles, not having eaten the entire day. 

'No,' he whimpers out. Lips trembling. 

He drags his body. Feet injured and bleeding. Katsu does not wait. He doesn't have to. 

Closing the cell door behind him, he ties the knot at the end around his neck. Hiding the key under his clothes and walks away. 

Lee Haechan grabs the bars between his fingers. He screams and begs. Too many months closed up in these walls. He's running out of tears to cry. Skinny and malnourished. 

The boy throws himself back as wild dogs drooling, put their heads between the bars. Trying to get inside. Wanting to tear the remaining flesh apart. 

Haechan crawls back, far away in a corner. He covers his ears. Pulling his dirty, matted hair. 

He wonders if he'll ever leave this place again. 

He wonders if anyone even knows he's here. 

The silence at nights is torturous. 

What if no one ever comes?

He questions himself, forgetting the reason of being in this place. 

Lee Haechan stares at the dogs running away. Eyes red and burdened with heavy bags. 

He wonders why all this felt so unfair.


End file.
